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men are happier people
 Web Naughty Forums » Naughty Jokes » men are happier people

AUTHOR MESSAGE
 

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men are happier people
NICKNAMES

* If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each
other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

* If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer
to each other as Fat Boy, Dickhead and Shit for Brains.


EATING OUT

* When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in
$20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything
smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

* When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.


MONEY

* A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

* A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.


BATHROOMS

* A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste,
shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.

* The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is
337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.



ARGUMENTS

* A woman has the last word in any argument.

* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


FUTURE

* A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

* A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.



SUCCESS

* A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

* A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


MARRIAGE

* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

* A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.


DRESSING UP

* A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

* A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.



NATURAL

* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

* Women somehow deteriorate during the night.



OFFSPRING

* Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows
about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods,
secret fears and hopes and dreams.

* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.



THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
remembering the same thing!
 February 15, 2011, 04:40
 newbie1011
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 62 / female
 The Shore, New Jersey, US
Re: men are happier people
Nice to see you have such a clear understanding of the sexes. lol
 February 15, 2011, 13:03
 perveman
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 111 / male
 Tucson, Arizona, US
Re: men are happier people
All true! This cracked me up regardless.
 February 23, 2011, 12:19
 ashkats
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 65 / couple
 crystal falls, Michigan, US
Re: men are happier people
seems that way though
 March 1, 2011, 06:07

 Web Naughty Forums » Naughty Jokes » men are happier people


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