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men are happier people
NICKNAMES
* If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each
other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
* If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer
to each other as Fat Boy, Dickhead and Shit for Brains.
EATING OUT
* When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in
$20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything
smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
* When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
* A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
* A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
* A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste,
shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
* The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is
337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
* A woman has the last word in any argument.
* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
* A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
* A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
* A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
* A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
* A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
* A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
* A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
* Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
* Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows
about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods,
secret fears and hopes and dreams.
* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
remembering the same thing!
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February 15, 2011, 04:40 |
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newbie1011
62 / female The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: men are happier people
Nice to see you have such a clear understanding of the sexes. lol
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February 15, 2011, 13:03 |
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perveman
111 / male Tucson, Arizona, US
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Re: men are happier people
All true! This cracked me up regardless.
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February 23, 2011, 12:19 |
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ashkats
65 / couple crystal falls, Michigan, US
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Re: men are happier people
seems that way though
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March 1, 2011, 06:07 |
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