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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Your first.
I have talked about this with many people and the answers are very different between men and women. Thinking about your first experiences with sex. Not just the first time you got laid. But the first kiss, the first time you let someone finger you, the first time you got felt up and your first orgasm. What was it like. Good? Bad? Somewhere in between? Obviously there are other firsts I just used these as an example. Tell about any of your firsts and how do you think it effected your current sex life if at all.
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| January 31, 2011, 20:50 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Your first.
my first time i was really young, we had a huge oak tree in our front yard. there was a big bush of some kind growing around the base of it, and my siblings and i hollowed out the branches from the inside out, made a nice little fort. it was camouflaged pretty well from the outside, but roomy enough to fit a few kids easily inside. my neighbor girl stole some of her dad's playboy and hustler magazines from the garage, and snuck them into the fort, we would look at them, and she would pose like the photos. we really didn't do much more than touch each other, we had no clue what we were doing, i was probably about 10, and she was about 11 or twelve. sadly she moved away a few weeks later, she would probably been my first.
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| January 31, 2011, 20:57 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Your first.
Do you think the way you are with women has anything to do with how things were with her? I know many women for instance say the don't like oral sex (Giving). Mainly because their first and several others have just shoved their face into the guys crotch and it was very unpleasant. And guys wonder why so many women hate it. LOL
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| January 31, 2011, 21:09 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Your first.
My first anything would mostly have been with the same guy. I guess I was a late starter to be honest by today's standards as I was having way too much fun growing up and being a kid, then a teenager and young adult to ever want to worry about complicating that with boys.
So I was 19 before it even cropped up and I started dating, first kiss first everything was with the same guy who I later got engaged to, but luckily for both us us we broke it off when we realised we were not designed to be together.
I think the waiting for me and the way I experienced most of my first's with a partner who I cared about has shaped the fact that for me there is no good sex without some kind of connection for me.
Not love necessarily as I don't love easily, but certainly a meeting of the minds before anything else can get together
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| January 31, 2011, 22:47 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Your first.
I think most women feel they need something like a meeting of the minds. That seems to be the biggest difference between men and women. And before you all jump on me and say "I'm not like that!" I am being general. Men can more easily have sex on a physical level where women seem to need it to be in our heads at least as much as physically. All the rubbing in the world wont do a damn thing except hurt if I'm not into it mentally.
But getting back to your first. I have found that as with most things our experiences when we were young mold us into what we are now. Many people that have expressed a "Fucked up" attitude or sex life for lack of a better term in general seemed to have had a bad start.Those with a more positive start seem to have a more positive experience over all through their life. Of course you have less hang ups and other issues if you never form them to begin with. So what were your firsts like? Do you think of yourself as having a healthy sex life?
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| February 1, 2011, 10:40 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Your first.
Hmmmm, I do agree that the way you are introduced to somethings does colour your attitude towards them, until at least something or someone happens to change that.
I will also add this to the mix though, as I have said I had a very happy introduction to all sorts of things - however for years I had the attitude that sex wasn't something for me to really need to enjoy as long as "he" was getting what he wanted. You see I was brought up in an older family with parents of the generation where women only worked between raising a family and making sure the man was looked after.
So my earliest opinions of sex were something and nothing, it was more of a duty than anything else. I broke all the rules by not waiting until I was married as in my house what was the point of sex without marriage. I have been mostly lucky with my partners in that they didn't feel that way and cared about my pleasure, but it took a long time to break that thought.
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| February 1, 2011, 14:14 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Your first.
Wow. Its amazing how different our up bringing was in regard to sex. You would think these days alot of what you had said wouldn't exist.
I was so lucky all of my firsts were with guys that cared about me and really made it about my pleasure knowing it was my first time. They generally had the attitude their pleasure will come later(And I mean a different day so I didn't feel pressured) and that way I wasn't worrying about having to reciprocate when I was self conscious enough about what we were doing.Amazing that all my firsts were with different guys yet they all had that same attitude.After hearing some of the horror stories I've heard through my life I realize how lucky I am.
Guys, I want to know about your firsts too.First blow job, hand job,etc.. we are not just talking about getting laid.
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| February 1, 2011, 14:51 |
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Iwant2kssuallovr
62 / female
Bendover, Florida, US
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Re: Your first.
I'm hesitant to post on this one. Seems too many horror stories I don't want to revisit, and don't think anyone needs to hear.
Like Josie, I was in no hurry for that aspect of my life. I wasn't allowed to date in High School, and had more respect for myself than to be used.
I do remember my sixteenth birthday, and he remembers still. I was comfortable with him. He had been wanting me for a long time, and new of my innocence. He said he respected me, and he was very sweet, and gentle. Now he also admits, and realizes he could have gone jail. I was 16, and he was 22.
His bestfriend wasn't too happy about it. I had been seeing him off and on for 2 years. So, while he had accepted no all those years, he just flat out didn't ask one night. He parked us in the orange groves, and uncermoniously sat me on the back of his car and had at it.
There was a big difference, and I don't mean it in the physical form.
I am still friends with both of these men. Talked to them both this week. And, although not as close as they once were, they are still friends.
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| February 1, 2011, 20:03 |
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thechunkyone
35 / male
elizabeth, New Jersey, US
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Re: Your first.
i only had a 1st kiss nothing more really.
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| February 2, 2011, 02:21 |
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kamarel
60 / male
Alexandria, Louisiana, US
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Re: Your first.
my first kiss was very cool.
the first time i felt a naked girl was too.
the first time i had sex, not so much
the first time i had sex with a complete stranger was great
the first time i watched 2 girls together was very cool
the first time i tried unusual sex was kinda mentally uncomfortable
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| February 2, 2011, 02:42 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Your first.
To thechunkyone: Since you have not had most of your sexual firsts I would like to say a few things to you and I hope you keep them in mind.
There are at least 2 people involved,remember the other has feelings as well.
Be respectful.
Take your time.
Don't do anything you don't feel ready to do and can't handle the consequences that it comes with.
Be smart and safe.
Never leave responsibility to the other person.
Be yourself.
Relax and have fun.
These things you will do will be things that not just you, but maybe your partner or partners will remember for the rest of your life.
Try to make them good memories for all involved.
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| February 2, 2011, 04:28 |
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Grandelf
64 / male
Northern, Michigan, US
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Re: Your first.
I recall mine so clearly.. the first time I was nervous, well and I was all alone.
The second is vivid because I still have the receipt.
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| March 1, 2011, 07:10 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Your first.
I notice very few and especial very few women are saying they had a great experience with their firsts. I think that's sad. It also makes me think, because so much of our future attitudes about things based on our firsts.
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| March 1, 2011, 20:35 |
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mcgriff
51 / male
Houston, Texas, US
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Re: Your first.
Wow, this made me think back and I hadn't done that in a while. I was a very shy guy (still am), went to an all boys school, and was one of the guys holding up the walls at dances. Long story short, I developed a relationship with a girl in another state. After a number of months of talking/writing, I went to visit her. We were still in high school, so we were at her parents house. The first night we went out we each had our first kiss. It was very strange, especially since I don't think either of us knew what were doing. It was messy, and I landed up giving her a rash all over her chin from the moisture/my beard. AWKWARD arrival at her house.
Second night we went out I "got to second base" - and again, strange since it was all new. "Hmmm, these are what breasts feel like" (and I do still remember them, large and firm). We didn't stay out that late, so we didn't go any further.
Third (and last night) we drove out to a very secluded place and went further. We both landed up with our pants down and (oh this is embarrassing) she had to move my hand away from her pubic hair and lead me to an area she might actually enjoy what I was doing. I can't believe I was just feeling up her pubes! hahah, jeez... she was rubbing me, and another bizarre moment came when she said "it's so big" - I just said, rather meanly, "no it's not, don't lie." Then holding up her fingers she says "but it's this big around" but I don't remember what I said or how I reacted to that. That's my last memory of that night, mostly - we kept at it for a while, but it was getting late. We got home to her parents IRATE that we were gone so long (no cellphones, so they were really worried that the guys from NYC had dome something to their daughter). We continued our relationship for a few years more...
How did this shape my relationships now? That's a good question. Unfortunately, I think I had been burned by a few people in my life up to that point (I was a very trusting soul, and sadly people take advantage of that - particularly pretending to be friends when all they want is the answer to the quiz the day before). This spread to my romantic relationships - in this case, I began wondering "how could she make a judgment on my dick size, using her fingers as a gauge, if I was the first guy she was with with?" It wreaked havoc with my mind, but I could never bring it up with her so I tortured myself with that and other thoughts for ages. Of course, things didn't get better when she confessed to kissing another guy on her first day of college (she called me that day to let me know, I know this was really big of her, and it should have put an end to my wonderings). This stupidity permeated through future relationships, damaging each and every one of them, causing fractures that couldn't be repaired. I've since realized that I have spent my life comparing myself to others, in all aspects of life. What a waste. Instead of enjoying close relationships, both romantic and just friendship , I wasted energy on wondering how I stacked up to people from their lives, past and present.
I am on the road to recovery, and have noticed how much more I enjoy life when I let go of the silly wandering of the mind.
*gets up from therapist's couch and exits.
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| March 6, 2011, 15:46 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Your first.
I think you have been the first to really get the point of this.. All those seemingly little things can lead to a lifetime of either great or messed up relationships, depending on how our previous relationships went. I know for many people they get into a situation where the person in the relationship NOW doesn't matter as much as the person they were in the relationship with before them.Example being,If you were in a relationship with a woman that cheated on you prior to the relationship your in now, chances are your going to not trust this person as much and will be watching her assuming that she might do the same thing. So even though this new woman has never done anything wrong you don't trust her because of someone else. As you can see this is a bad pattern to get into, however many people do.
Bad sex or good sex as your first experience can mold your future experiences.All your experiences mold your future but your firsts are just so memorable and important to most people.I know so many woman that thought they were having their first experience with a guy that"Loved" them. Then find out not only did he not love them but it was a bet or a joke or some other fucked up thing. Or just that the guy is an ass.Then those woman carry that to their future lovers and maybe never trust again. Or if it was a painful experience as it is for many woman , they might not think of sex as pleasurable and not be able to relax or orgasm. I just hope that if young people are reading things like this they think about it and are at very least kind to their partners. Both men and women play a big part in how their partner can perceive things in the future.
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| March 6, 2011, 18:03 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Your first.
My first time, I was 15 and she was 18 and it was a scarey but exciting experience!
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| March 9, 2011, 01:54 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Your first.
I know I write short books in my answers but in this type of thread I am kinda hoping for you guys to do that as well. I am trying to get a feel for the mood and overall experience to understand each others attitudes about sex as we went through life. So if you could all give a bit more information that would be great.
I also mean everything from the first kiss, first time you got to feel a girl up or down etc.... lol
Women same for you . We know most women say many of their firsts sucked! Why?
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| March 9, 2011, 02:11 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Your first.
It was 1975 and she was what you would call, a flower child at that time. She had Daisy's in her hair and she was high as a kite. She wanted to bring me to a new level of existence and open my mind up to all the world has to offer...well, hell..I was 15 and horny as hell so I decided to let her help me move up some levels...She pulled my pants down, sucked my dick for a couple of minutes and then straddled me and rode me slowly..moving her hips around in circles. I just laid there with this look of shock and awe!! Once I came, she started to sprinkle flower pedals all over me and said that I am now born to receive love at it's full level!! I was now a man! Well, the only thing I was thinking at the time was, "Holy Shit!!! That was great!!! I had sex!!!" Wonderful way to lose your virginity!!!
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| March 11, 2011, 06:19 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Your first.
Thanks hippyguy50. That's really does sound like a great way for it to have happened. Sure beats what many guys tell me was about a 5 second Oh Shit! moment.lol
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| March 11, 2011, 06:26 |
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Biqueen84
40 / female
Spokane, Washington, US
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Re: Your first.
I was 11 when i had sex with my bf he was also 11 one day after school we doing are homework and i brushed he in way i know would get him hard then he looked at me like with kind of a red face i said do you want me to take care of that he ask are you really ready to do this i said if i was not i would not have done what i did to you honey he said ok so i took he pants off then i took all 13 inchs of his cock in my mouth and let him cum in my mouth then i got up slid my pants off then i sat next to him on the bed and put his hand down between my legs and let him feel how wet i was from getting him off he said can i go down on you i said yes so he did as he was getting me off i started making sound he though he hurt me i said no then he got up on the bed and slid in to my pussy and i took him all in and we fucked good and hard then when we where going to cum i rapted my legs around him and hugged him as we french kissed and came at the same time it was some of the best sex i ever had.
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| March 14, 2011, 08:07 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Your first.
No I wouldn't normally do this because I do believe most people are on here are pretty honest about this kind of stuff but I don't want people afraid to write their true stories because of something like this.
Really Biqueen? I think you either measure like a man(oh chill guys I am joking about that, kinda) or your a bit off in your calculations. The record for a penis is 13.5 and that was one man. the next largest is 12 inches. If you found a prepubescent with a 13 inch cock I do believe he should be in the record books.But I guess when your 11 they all look large.I also am very impressed with the fact that it was a first for both of you yet you were both so talented that you not only managed to cum together but apparently have other talents as did he.And your knowledge was extraordinary at 11 as well. You are a lucky women and he was a lucky boy. Sorry but I am trying to get real stories here. If you want to write fiction try the writers forum or at least say this was a fantasy.I hate when people assume others are stupid enough to believe crap like this. It's insulting.
If People think I'm wrong for saying this publicly think about the fact that she thinks we are all that stupid!
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| March 14, 2011, 08:39 |
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Biqueen84
40 / female
Spokane, Washington, US
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Re: Your first.
My bf and i had both been molsted as small kid and so we knew a lot about sex but this was the first time for both of us to have sex of are own free will so we felt in powered by doing it.
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| March 14, 2011, 09:43 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Your first.
Do not try the molested card to try to make me feel bad about I said. If you were molested then you would know better!. It a serious thing. That just pisses me me off. There are people that have been molested and have to deal with it their whole life don't make it seem like its something to throw around! Like I said If you want to tell a true story I have no issue with you. That is the point of the thread. Or you can even say its a fantasy of how you would wish it to be. But don't try to play people for stupid.
If you had a email I would be happy to do this in private. I would strongly suggest you don't go further with the game you seem to be playing. I don't find it funny.To many people have had real serious firsts both good and bad. So why don't we start over and you can try again.
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| March 14, 2011, 10:15 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Your first.
Oh good gawd, locking this thread,
Anyone has any questions, write a moderator.
For one....dammit...the nice rule!!! We have a nice rule here. Red Tab near the top right of the page, scan them over and pay particular attention to the last one please.
Secondly...maybe no more threads about our first time or losing our virginity, since many related posts may contain content about people under the age of consent. We have been willing to allow the topic with some editing in the past but maybe no more. I dunno yet.
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| March 14, 2011, 12:33 |
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Your first.
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