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User no longer registered.
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Rejection
We discuss a lot on here about how to approach people through mail, forum and the chat rooms. The part that I get confused with though is the response to the initial contact.
I like to think of myself as polite and friendly and always try to respond to any decent mail I receive. Obviously just a phone number or other contact details or just a smiley face get no response at all. I have also taken some care over my profile to detail what I am looking for and the age ranges etc.
So I get confused when I do respond with a polite no thanks, usually giving a reason I hasten to add I get accused of the following at times:
1) Why are you here then?
2) You just don't know what you want I'll show you
3) You are so agressive, what have I done to you?
and then obviously some much cruder, nastier ones at times. I have never reported anyone because to be honest it never really bothers me personally what people say.
So to end the rambling, my questions are 1) How do you deal with rejection on here and 2) At what point would you personally think enough is enough and actually take it further when someone is rude?
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| November 20, 2010, 22:27 |
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XlonelyboyX10
32 / male
Kashima, Northern Territory, Australia
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Re: Rejection
its ur decision miss josie,just have fun 
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| November 20, 2010, 22:30 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Rejection
Yeah, I've tried replying to every message, but the ones with just contact info, or "ur hot wan 2 chat?"....stuff like that I just ignore. Leaves me more time to be helpful, answer questions, etc...
I can't block anyone, even if someone is rude to me, or someone hates me, I still need to be able to be accessable to them if they need something or have a problem or question, so I never block anyone.
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| November 20, 2010, 22:35 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Rejection
I guess that part of the problem might just be that even for cyber I need to feel a connection to someone. "cold calling" lol, just doesn't do it for me.
Also I do just log in a lot of the time to catch up with the friends I have met on here. Am always in the Lobby for that which to my mind should already show people that I am here just to talk normally. Getting the instant PM's in that room does get me down I have to admit.
If I am in Red then "Game on"
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| November 20, 2010, 22:42 |
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Re: Rejection
i guess its best to ignore
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| November 20, 2010, 23:21 |
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Iwant2kssuallovr
62 / female
Bendover, Florida, US
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Re: Rejection
Yes, I got a " You're a liar" the other day. I said "No." " Yes you are." Okay.. than I am. Life goes on, sorry you got your feelings hurt, I just didn't have time. Not been into it lately. 
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| November 20, 2010, 23:32 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Rejection
That's what the Red Room is for! 
At one time, we just had the one room, wow...can you just imagine the problems we had then? We decided to add a room to try to give seperation between the ones who want to chat casually, and those just wanting to find some cybersex .
I think Josie is right, that allot of the pesky annoying rude ones aren't regulars here, they're usually newer people, wanting cyber at the moment, surfing and browsing sites to get that immediate gratification. They're not interested in investing any amount of time or effort in the community part of the site.
Josie does have a great profile, from her username to her photos, it's an excellent profile, and it clearly states and reflects what she is looking for and the kind of person she is.
Sadly, I have had complaints from women with allot of spreadeagle graphic photos with object penetration and usernames like ... poundmysloppycunt, or sluttydickwhore who want to complain about the graphic aggressive messages they get. Huh?
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| November 20, 2010, 23:33 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Rejection
I know we have had this discussion on more than one occasion in the room. I wish the guys and even ladies or couples on occasion would realize its not always personal.Just because I'm not interested in you doesn't mean you are bad in my eyes it just means I'm either not into playing at the time or I'm busy already or that you might not be my type or within my age group that's in my comfort zone.Or as just about every women on here has said over and over as women we need to make some kind of connection and sometimes that just doesn't happen.
I don't understand the people that get rude then don't get why we wont give them a positive response. If i say no thank you at least say OK have a nice night. At very least don't get really nasty.PLEASE take a hint from the guys that get a lot of attention. They are polite, playful, creative, assertive but not pushy. When the ratio of men to women is so huge you guys need to understand what gets our attention and being a jerk might get our attention but I have a feeling its not the kind you want. You might want to come into the chat rooms when you see a lot of us in there and take notes first instead of sending them first.
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| November 20, 2010, 23:45 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Rejection
QUOTE (Josie34 @ November 20, 2010, 22:27)We discuss a lot on here about how to approach people through mail, forum and the chat rooms. The part that I get confused with though is the response to the initial contact.
I like to think of myself as polite and friendly and always try to respond to any decent mail I receive. Obviously just a phone number or other contact details or just a smiley face get no response at all. I have also taken some care over my profile to detail what I am looking for and the age ranges etc.
So I get confused when I do respond with a polite no thanks, usually giving a reason I hasten to add I get accused of the following at times:
1) Why are you here then?
2) You just don't know what you want I'll show you
3) You are so agressive, what have I done to you?
and then obviously some much cruder, nastier ones at times. I have never reported anyone because to be honest it never really bothers me personally what people say.
So to end the rambling, my questions are 1) How do you deal with rejection on here and 2) At what point would you personally think enough is enough and actually take it further when someone is rude?
you get rejection responses here? i never even get ANY responses (ok, maybe i get a few, but those are usually not rejections. lol)
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| November 21, 2010, 03:42 |
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robinragnorok
65 / male
Independence, Missouri, US
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Re: Rejection
Well, ok here I go. Some guys take rejection peronally. Why? Because it hurts! Now, that doesn't excuse bad language or behavior. No, not at all. But I will say this: I donzt contact someone unless their profile got my interest. Now some women are not kind or considerate either. Guys know the ratios too. I'm in no hurry really so I don't care so much. I've always felt that you get back what you give. Respect and courtesy usually help and can go a long way. As for just contact info only? I don't know...maybe the more hooks in the water thing. Not really my style either. I guess what I'm really trying to say is we should ALL be mindful of others and have a care for feelings. Yes if someone is rude or just plain nasty just don't respond. No need to get the heart pumping that way it ain't healthy. Here, sombody else take the soap box a while I'm all tuckered out. 
ROBIN
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| November 22, 2010, 07:11 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Rejection
I think a lot of how a person accepts rejection is thier ego.
Me, I try to be tactful. If that doesn't work, well, they get it really blunt.
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| November 22, 2010, 15:02 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Rejection
I just wanted to add that this question and my comments were not specifically aimed at men lol. I have the same reaction from women too...
I fully appreciate the hurt feelings that may occur with a rejection on here, trust me as a big woman I have had my fair share of rejections and comments and on and on. I still just try to walk away with me head held high and not reacte to them. At the end of the day not everyone wants me and I don't want everybody I meet.
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| November 22, 2010, 20:38 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Rejection
Amen Josie! I think its all about the fact that we all need to remember we aren't all compatible but unless its called for we shouldn't get nasty. I agree its not just men as well. I also understand that at times you want to know why your being rejected but there are ways to ask without lowering yourself to begging. I always feel bad when someone does that. Like I have stated sometimes its really nothing you have done or not done and I TRY to be polite about it but when I say I'm not interested and even after giving a reason I have had people beg. NO ONE should do that. Have self respect you are worth more than that and there are many people that would enjoy you even if its not the person you are trying for at that moment. Also don't get nasty because that definitely wont get you anywhere.
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| November 22, 2010, 23:25 |
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slowpoke2
52 / male
aberdeen, Scotland, UK
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Re: Rejection
i don't ask, so i don't get rejected
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| November 23, 2010, 05:39 |
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ashkats
65 / couple
crystal falls, Michigan, US
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Re: Rejection
a lot of folks are now better then a dog humping on your leg ya get tired of the wet spot and and no matter what you do you cant please everyone and some folks just cant take no for a answer, makes ya think they had one can of suds too many....
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| November 23, 2010, 23:42 |
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