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slowpoke2
52 / male
aberdeen, Scotland, UK
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Question
for those who have chatted to me and those that have read some of my posts, etc, would u say i am a good/bad person to know, how would u describe me ???, be honest
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| November 5, 2010, 20:59 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Question
I think you're good with some bad. Like all of us. You ok. 
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| November 5, 2010, 21:46 |
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Re: Question
I've yet to see even an ounce of bad in you since I've known you.
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| November 5, 2010, 22:17 |
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Re: Question
You are one of the kindest, most caring person around. You are well worth knowing Slowpoke. You have a good heart!! 
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| November 6, 2010, 04:01 |
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slowpoke2
52 / male
aberdeen, Scotland, UK
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Re: Question
thanks, i was just asking the question to find out what people think of me because i had met this girl(well i was hopping to meet her last week) we had been texting and swapping pics for a while and to be honest i was in love with her and she was in love with me, but i think i got dumped, she said she was having probs with her phone and if the one she had broke she would have no phone, that was last time i heard from her 27Th Oct, she did everything with her phone text, the net,etc, anyway i see she had posted stuff on another site which i am also a member there and she knows that but she never posted anything to me, so going by that i don't think i fit into her plans no more 
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| November 8, 2010, 20:48 |
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Re: Re: Question
QUOTE (slowpoke2 @ November 8, 2010, 20:48)thanks, i was just asking the question to find out what people think of me because i had met this girl(well i was hopping to meet her last week) we had been texting and swapping pics for a while and to be honest i was in love with her and she was in love with me, but i think i got dumped, she said she was having probs with her phone and if the one she had broke she would have no phone, that was last time i heard from her 27Th Oct, she did everything with her phone text, the net,etc, anyway i see she had posted stuff on another site which i am also a member there and she knows that but she never posted anything to me, so going by that i don't think i fit into her plans no more
How friggin rude is that?
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| November 8, 2010, 21:13 |
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Re: Question
Ah hell, cut that one loose cuz there is some one better out there, you deserve someone better than that.
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| November 8, 2010, 21:21 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Re: Question
QUOTE (slowpoke2 @ November 8, 2010, 20:48)thanks, i was just asking the question to find out what people think of me because i had met this girl(well i was hopping to meet her last week) we had been texting and swapping pics for a while and to be honest i was in love with her and she was in love with me, but i think i got dumped, she said she was having probs with her phone and if the one she had broke she would have no phone, that was last time i heard from her 27Th Oct, she did everything with her phone text, the net,etc, anyway i see she had posted stuff on another site which i am also a member there and she knows that but she never posted anything to me, so going by that i don't think i fit into her plans no more
If you've never met her, I will bet she isn't or wasn't being honest about something with you. Many times it has nothing to do with you. It could be for other reasons as well. I know I have had to do that with someone and even though he would never understand It was to save him from being hurt even more. I was realizing that he wan't dealing with me moving on from our relationship . It was better for him to be angry with me than to be hurt everyday because he couldn't deal with me moving on. It isn't always an easy choice. I have never had to do anything so drastic before other than my divorce.I don't know you well enough and don't know the situation but it could be anything from plane old cold feet to something much more involved.
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| November 8, 2010, 21:54 |
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Re: Question
Yeah it happens. And we are often left wondering what really happened. Then we get over it. And move on.
Learn something more as well.
Thanks Newbie for putting that side of the situation.
It's so good to get a woman's perspective.
Not that it probably totally explains her actions, but it does explain in general terms.
If it was me, I'd be happy/contented to get some kind of explanation from the woman. I guess,as Newbie says, she might have wanted to avoid hurting you.
But it also highlights her inability to 'communicate' and I can't emphasise enough the importance of communication in any relationship.
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| November 9, 2010, 08:47 |
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Re: Question
Some are just not able or willing to carrying an online fantasy thing into a real world thing, they just get carried away with the cyber fantasy. When things get close to a meeting, or get a little serious, they buck and run, and find another online fantasy playmate.
I've seen it all, I know some people get caught up in the online world. They need, they should always specify that they are "online only" but many don't.
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| November 9, 2010, 12:52 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Question
Chazzy your right about the fact that people "should" state online only. But I think I am a prime example of "you just never know". Sometimes you think you know what you want. Emotions come into play and the whole thing can go from a game to the real thing very quickly. It can also be one sided or just plain confusing, especially when you are caught of guard with your feelings.Many times weather online or in real life things happen in all kinds of relationships that can change the dynamics. Sometimes we see it sometimes we don't and some of those things are out of our control. Good or bad you just have to except it.
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| November 9, 2010, 13:10 |
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Re: Question
Yeah, way back, we dealt with each other face to face, we were forced to deal with the reality and consequences of our actions, and the actions of others. We had to be honest and clear, or there would be repercussions.
But now, allot of people have that mindset that if things aren't working out, just block, just delete, just turn off the device and move on.
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| November 9, 2010, 13:25 |
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Re: Question
Exactly Chazzy. Even though we still do interact face to face daily, and not just with our significant others, the rise of the net (leaving aside camming 'face to face' - or genitals to genitals in many cases, which is a whole new way to communicate!) means that we have to communicate in a different way and that for some/many is difficult - or easier (the cut & run ploy e.g.).
Making meaning is easier face to face. We can clarify what we mean much easier. It gets harder the further we move away from that - from speaking to text based communication.
It's harder to express something in written form. So again it's easier to cut and run if it gets too difficult. It's hard work typing!
I might have strayed off topic, maybe I am focusing on just one aspect of the issue. Hope what i said makes sense and is relevant.
The whole cyber space phenomenon is fascinating to think about from a critical communications perspective.
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| November 9, 2010, 14:06 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: Question
QUOTE (Chazzy @ November 8, 2010, 21:21)Ah hell, cut that one loose cuz there is some one better out there, you deserve someone better than that.
Yeah, see, that's the attitude nowadays. I don't mean to criticise you because what you are saying (I think)is to give the guy some moral support. It's a 'normal' response.
But if we all were to 'cut that one loose' then no wonder we have the dilemmas that those who are left 'high and dry' face.
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| November 9, 2010, 14:11 |
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Re: Question
I've been talking to slowpoke since the day he joined, I know him to be a fantastic person worthy of nothing but the best, he deserves something real, he deserves something as genuine as he is.
I was not being unsupportive, we go way back and he knows I adore him, I support him, I do not want him to doubt himself for a minute over this.
I'm not saying he needs to slam the door shut and lock it, I'm saying he needs to keep socializing in spite of this, he's a wonderful person to know and talk to.
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| November 9, 2010, 14:32 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: Question
QUOTE (slowpoke2 @ November 8, 2010, 20:48)thanks, i was just asking the question to find out what people think of me because i had met this girl(well i was hopping to meet her last week) we had been texting and swapping pics for a while and to be honest i was in love with her and she was in love with me, but i think i got dumped, she said she was having probs with her phone and if the one she had broke she would have no phone, that was last time i heard from her 27Th Oct, she did everything with her phone text, the net,etc, anyway i see she had posted stuff on another site which i am also a member there and she knows that but she never posted anything to me, so going by that i don't think i fit into her plans no more
some people are that way. Especially with the online stuff. Let it go and find another one.
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| November 9, 2010, 14:46 |
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Re: Question
Yeah, kinda agree with JC there...I've had a few bad experiences over the years.
One was a guy that while online onsite, he was fun, flirty, light hearted, sweet, .... seemed very sane. The minute I gave him an email address, he turned quickly and became very intense and serious, proclaiming to be in love with me, very intent on me uprooting myself immediatly, moving across the country to live with him. It was a total change of personality, which just weirded me out.
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| November 9, 2010, 17:41 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: Question
QUOTE (Chazzy @ November 9, 2010, 17:41)Yeah, kinda agree with JC there...I've had a few bad experiences over the years.
One was a guy that while online onsite, he was fun, flirty, light hearted, sweet, .... seemed very sane. The minute I gave him an email address, he turned quickly and became very intense and serious, proclaiming to be in love with me, very intent on me uprooting myself immediatly, moving across the country to live with him. It was a total change of personality, which just weirded me out.
I think we have all had something similar happen along the way if you are on-line for long enough. I always state at the start that I am married with a non-participating husband that I adore. Not planning on leaving him or even wanting to get even vaguely serious with anyone. That still doesn't put some people off however and have had those "in love" with me. Which in my opinion can't be true since they only know a small part of who I am.
There are many warnings about the psychological addiction of web-chat of all types and things can seem more intense in these environments as it is all on-to-one with none of the usual "real world" interactions or distractions.
All I can say as I don't really know the author of this post is that your feelings are always real to you, but you deserve someone who feels the same way back. If they don't then it just isn't mean't to be and in the long run wouldn't be the right relationship for you. Obviously all just my personal opinion as usual
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| November 9, 2010, 18:42 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: Question
QUOTE (Chazzy @ November 9, 2010, 14:32)I've been talking to slowpoke since the day he joined, I know him to be a fantastic person worthy of nothing but the best, he deserves something real, he deserves something as genuine as he is.
I was not being unsupportive, we go way back and he knows I adore him, I support him, I do not want him to doubt himself for a minute over this.
I'm not saying he needs to slam the door shut and lock it, I'm saying he needs to keep socializing in spite of this, he's a wonderful person to know and talk to.
I agree whole hearted Chazzy, I have talked to him for a long time to, and it is that girls loss.
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| November 9, 2010, 23:42 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Question
The thing I hope everyone thinks about is this. Whom ever is at fault ,if there is a fault at all. You may never know. But if you are a good person and like the person you are don't change. You should never let someone change you not the core of you. I don't mean learn to pick up your underwear off the floor. I mean the person you are. I have seen so many get hurt and let themselves become different people so they don't get hurt again. There are some people who try to change into what they think the next person wants so they won't lose That person. That only leads to resentment and frustration.
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| November 10, 2010, 02:15 |
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slowpoke2
52 / male
aberdeen, Scotland, UK
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Re: Question
well i waited for a bit, then i sent a text to her but not expecting a reply, but i was wrong i got 2 from her on a different number saying she could not sent text's from her old phone and was waiting to get a new phone and she wished she could text me more but she was out of credit, so i left it at that, last night i signed in to a place u can chat and about 3 Min's later she signed out, she must have seen me sign in but she just left with no message, so she must have credit and a new phone because she told me the phone she was using did not have web access, either that or she lied to me, i know now how she feels towards me, she did say she loved me, i meant the world to her, i know now its not worth the paper its printed on , as newbie said i am not going to change who i am but going to give woman a miss for a while(sorry Lady's)
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| November 13, 2010, 10:01 |
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Re: Question
argggggh slowpoke...She wasn't worth getting upset about.
You gotta dust off your pants from that nasty fall and get yourself back on that horse.
Riding is such good fun.
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| November 13, 2010, 11:06 |
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Re: Question
you're better off without her then. sounds like either she's afraid of getting to serious, or she was just playing you. as sad as it is, there are a lot of women that do that. men do it too, especially in this day and age, with all the technologies that allow for texting and chatting.
don't worry about it Poke. you'll find another one that's better for you. you seem like a good guy.
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| November 14, 2010, 00:06 |
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slowpoke2
52 / male
aberdeen, Scotland, UK
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Re: Question
a quick update, i met her today sat 15 Jan and it was wow, we were both so nervous, we did not know what say to each other, i so wanted to kiss her but was not sure if she felt same way, my heart was beating like there was no tomorrow, but turns out she felt same as me wanted to but scared i did not want her too, we are gonna meet again very soon, wow 
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| January 16, 2011, 05:34 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Question
good for you, see, you were worried for nothing! you seem like a good guy. i'm glad it worked out for you.
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| January 16, 2011, 05:54 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Question
Sounds like it went well. I would still tell you to proceed with caution.You don't know if she is playing you or not. Just make sure its real before you get to invested.I hope it works out for. Just because I say to be careful doesn't mean you shouldn't try. You have to take some chances in this world or you would miss all the good things too.
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| January 16, 2011, 06:08 |
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