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armybody
63 / male
Dallas, Texas, US
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First impressions of 40 year old male profile negative?
Maybe I'm just such a dreamer that I think my mind could be attractive. Perhapse self confidence and a sense of humor are not so popular as I thought. A cute,thoughtful profile doesn't seem to have an impact on responses. My ability to communicate and share who I am seems almost unappetizing actualy.
All these attributes I thought would take precedence,that took years of trial and error to master, are moot I think to first impressions.
It would be nice if every female that sees this post would make an honest position on the matter but that isn't as important now that I've "field tested" myself.
I have requested contact with a wide range of ages and types of profiles. There seems to be no difference in my preference of older vs younger women . I see the same items in younger profiles that I see in the older profiles that cause me to respond to them. The posting of a female pic or not has no impact on me. Pictures lie. They become obsolete once the person fails to live up to them.
Does the age of a person make an impression? Do you make assumptions based on age that overide any other positive attributes?
What do you see when you think of a 40 year old male?
Experience? Self confidence? Chivalry? Culture? Worldly knowledge? Well dressed? Well off?
OR
Grey hair? No hair? Hair in the wrong places?Spare tire? No ass?..........Grumpy Old Men the prequel?
Annonimity invites honesty. Please respond.
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| March 21, 2005, 09:21 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: First impressions of 40 year old male profile negative?
There is nothing wrong with you, or your profile.
(absolutely nothing!)I wish I knew the reasons behind the lack of responses.
I see the same names on the "who's online" list, all day, all night, everyday....yet these are the people least likely to respond to anyone's attempt to contact them. I don't know why they are a member, why they log in so many hours online here, (with profile in view, mind you, not with their profile hidden!) and then ignore or block other members who contact them. Reading their ads and profiles make it even more baffling.
"I'm so lonely!", "insatiable", and other various extreme pleads for attention and contact, yet rebuff all attempts of communication and remain silent and cold. ( I won't even mention the photo displays.)
Any one else have a clue to this behavior, please inform the rest of us....
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| March 21, 2005, 11:28 |
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Re: First impressions of 40 year old male profile negative?
as a 40 y/o male myself I surely understant your sentiments , the light is on but nobody is home with a lot of people , but sometimes less can be more , as the late great Buddy Holly once said "smootily boota hang it up "
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| March 21, 2005, 14:21 |
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Re: First impressions of 40 year old male profile negative?
Been there, Army, The same with me.
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| March 21, 2005, 16:20 |
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Re: First impressions of 40 year old male profile negative?
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| March 21, 2005, 18:03 |
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armybody
63 / male
Dallas, Texas, US
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Re: First impressions of 40 year old male profile negative?
In my platoon they call me "ol man". It's not derogatory, it is an expression of respect for what I've been through and seen.
However,
Their impression of what a 40 year old male is "supposed" to be like shapes the way they treat me versus the other troops and I hate it.
Example: Last summer I suffered through some serious pain during field exercises. It was around 100 degrees in full battle gear. I had partialy herniated(sticking out) some bowel. It hurt like hell but it wasn't a complete hernia so there was no danger of strangulation at that point. Once I pushed it back in the burning subsided so I just tried to keep it from popping out again. Well, eventualy it showed from all my facial gymnastics. I was ordered to light duty(there's really no such thing in the field..LOL!)and constantly asked "how you feeling?" "are you ok?" "You look hot, sit down in the shade" They appeared guilty of making an old man suffer. Instead of impatiently monitoring any progress for me to return to full duty they were looking for more hidden ailments so they could justify more light duty.
The point of this example is It had gone past concern and it feltl more like pity. My experience told me the pain would not effect my performance and should be endured not feared. One less team member made the mission more difficult for the rest and that fact outweighed my suffering. It was a practical matter to wrap it and continue. If I was 20 years old I think they would have wrapped it,gave me some Tylenol and sent me back to my team.
So you see, although I pass the same PT test and perform at a tempo equal or greater than the 20 somethings, my age gives them a preconcieved notion. They know the "ol man" has thier six(back) but they just can't help seeing someone that is 20 years older as "old" instead of just "older".
Ya know?
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| March 22, 2005, 08:49 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: First impressions of 40 year old male profile negative?
Okay... Know what?....now that whole story just made me a little less tolerant with my husband's flu ! I was gettin' tired of the waiting on hand and foot thing anyway! (note to self...Gotta quit spoiling the fuck out of them!)
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| March 22, 2005, 09:04 |
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goinsth4u
56 / male
sterling, Virginia, US
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Re: First impressions of 40 year old male profile negative?
hey i am thinking that for whatever reason it's all in whose eye you catch. bottom line. i too have recieved no responses from my profile, however i have been pretty successful just chatting with ladies online. once they get to know me a little then i spring the pic on them. if they like it ok, if not oh well. not everyone is going to be enamored with me. and i do'nt expect them to be. i am trying to develop a trust, and friendship to see where it may lead. i am really just being me ,and it's working so far i won't go into who i've met but i am pleased at the results so far.
so just be you ,and what is supposed to happen will. 
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| March 22, 2005, 17:30 |
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armybody
63 / male
Dallas, Texas, US
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Re: First impressions of 40 year old male profile negative?
There are circumstances when only your age shows, like on a posted message for instance. There would be no chance for your profile to "catch their eye" if they never look at it because of a preconcieved notion.
The purpose of the thread was not to grumble about lack of responses. The purpose was to understand what motivates someone to respond............ANYONE......to respond to an invitation.
Like Chazzy said, why would people make themselves *appear* to need contact with others while they seem to be avoiding it continuousely?
Age in the profile is just one possibility.
Still, the mystery profiles of the missing members will be stored in the vault with the Jamestown Colony, UFOs and the Bermuda Triangle.
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| March 23, 2005, 07:01 |
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Re: First impressions of 40 year old male profile negative?
I've got a few minutes so:
I don't preconceive anything about a person based on their age. Many people do and I can't fault them for that. It is normal for a woman to want a man of similar years. It is also normal for a woman to want a man of 18-24 years old,after all that is a male's physical peak.
I look at the title line people write for themselves when I am looking at profiles. Creativity is the first indicator of intelligence and wit when writing a profile. If a person can't write a good title line and a paragraph or two about themselves, how can I expect their conversation to be any more exciting.
I am not here expecting to hook up and have hot sex with many people. I am looking for friends, possible contacts who I might meet on my travels and for good conversation and chat. Age is irrelevant for all of my goals, creativity and intelligence are not.
Absix gives you a wonderful introduction space to tell me something about you. You can type for days in your introduction box to let people know you are more than an age/sex/location. You can beat me, you can kill me, just don't bore me. (line stolen and adapted from clint e.)
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| March 23, 2005, 09:29 |
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Re: Re: First impressions of 40 year old male profile negative?
QUOTE (kbateman @ March 23, 2005, 09:29)I've got a few minutes so:
I don't preconceive anything about a person based on their age. Many people do and I can't fault them for that. It is normal for a woman to want a man of similar years. It is also normal for a woman to want a man of 18-24 years old,after all that is a male's physical peak.
I look at the title line people write for themselves when I am looking at profiles. Creativity is the first indicator of intelligence and wit when writing a profile. If a person can't write a good title line and a paragraph or two about themselves, how can I expect their conversation to be any more exciting.
I am not here expecting to hook up and have hot sex with many people. I am looking for friends, possible contacts who I might meet on my travels and for good conversation and chat. Age is irrelevant for all of my goals, creativity and intelligence are not.
Absix gives you a wonderful introduction space to tell me something about you. You can type for days in your introduction box to let people know you are more than an age/sex/location. You can beat me, you can kill me, just don't bore me. (line stolen and adapted from clint e.)
Good job all! Being 43 I too have some of the same issues as Army. But at the same time I relize that few young ladys are looking for a 43 year old married guy, it's just a fact of life! HH and KB make some good points and as for sweet Chaz. you need to make the old man wait on himself! I'm here for the friendships I have made with many of you and the refreshing open mindedness toward the topic of sex issues. People in the real world are so gun shy on anything related to sex. Anyway being a bear of few words, that's all I got to say! Do you think my picture makes me look fat? 
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| March 23, 2005, 13:15 |
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Re: First impressions of 40 year old male profile negative?
well, DEye, I like to think of your pupil as "robust" or "husky", not fat!
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| March 23, 2005, 13:23 |
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Re: Re: First impressions of 40 year old male profile negative?
QUOTE (Chazzy @ March 23, 2005, 13:23)well, DEye, I like to think of your pupil as "robust" or "husky", not fat!
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| March 23, 2005, 13:25 |
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Re: First impressions of 40 year old male profile negative?
Don't even try to figure it out it will only drive you crazy. It's just the way most of the world thinks,if you call it that, today !! Trying to analyze people today is futile. We have asked ourselves those same questions a million times, and we always get the same answer. SCREW UM and move on with other things. That's why we prefer the mts.
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| March 23, 2005, 14:49 |
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Re: Re: First impressions of 40 year old male profile negative?
QUOTE (kbateman @ March 23, 2005, 09:29)It is also normal for a woman to want a man of 18-24 years old,after all that is a male's physical peak.
To tell you the truth, I have reached my sexual peak in the last 5 years. I am better, last longer, am much more concerned about the pleasure of the woman I am with, and know the "spots" very much better than I EVER did at 18-24. The women I have been with recently have all been 30-38 and I like that too. I do not persue, nor do I really want a 20 year old woman. believe it or not.
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| March 23, 2005, 15:11 |
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armybody
63 / male
Dallas, Texas, US
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Re: First impressions of 40 year old male profile negative?
"It is normal for a woman to want a man of similar years. It is also normal for a woman to want a man of 18-24 years old,after all that is a male's physical peak."
True, but this is not a physical medium. Any woman may desire a 24 year old body but it takes a more mature intellect to stimulate that desire.
Sex is one of the courses, intimacy is the meal and physical attraction is merely a condiment 
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| March 24, 2005, 07:35 |
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Re: First impressions of 40 year old male profile negative?
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| March 24, 2005, 20:58 |
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Re: First impressions of 40 year old male profile negative?
Yes, common courtesy is a beautiful thing...
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| March 25, 2005, 07:58 |
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Re: Re: First impressions of 40 year old male profile negative?
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| March 26, 2005, 04:53 |
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Re: First impressions of 40 year old male profile negative?
this is very true I see this practically everyday even here on the site,thank you brother hothands for having the cujones to not remain silent ,personnally I will no longer play along with em if people wanna be that way I am not gonna bang my head against the wall trying to change em .
It may not be a matter of not playing along or banging your head against the wall, but just being honest, and friendly with each other and maybe we can all change things one day at a time, I know Im far from being perfact myself and a little constructive critisism never hurt any of us.
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| March 27, 2005, 18:35 |
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bevereder
63 / male
willowick, Ohio, US
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Re: First impressions of 40 year old male profile negative?
someones got some issues here,and quite a few are rushing in for some kinda group hug.I'm over 40 ,so what.I've almost killed myself living like a hard charger ;came close twice,big deal. keepin mind they bury the young just as deep as the old.life is a dynamic,once you've closed your mind you've sealed your fate. As Farragat said " damn the torpedoes full speed ahead"
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| March 27, 2005, 20:58 |
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Re: First impressions of 40 year old male profile negative?
damn the torpedoes full speed ahead"
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| March 28, 2005, 03:47 |
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