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User no longer registered.
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To go private
What is the general thought about " going private" . If i am in the chat room and there are also others but no-one replies on a general remark. Is it allowed to addres someone private. I did a few times, the ladies didn't seem to feel offended but i was kind of uncomfortable with it. So is it considered rude or ok to address someone Private or should you ask permission first in the chatroom.
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| July 25, 2009, 19:21 |
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Mooant
41 / male
New Britain, Connecticut, US
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Re: To go private
Its kinda how most people chat in the chatroom. Don't get too offended if they don't reply right away, a lot of people will go to the chat options when they log in right away and disable new private convos. So if they want to chat privately, they have to start it.
Otherwise, go in, be yourself, and have fun doing whatever. You'll know if you offend someone otherwise.
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| July 25, 2009, 19:42 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: To go private
It can be overwhelming if (from a female point of view) the second you pop into the chatroom a dozen or so private messages pop up...I would suggest maybe not doing the private message thing right off?
I know I like to greet the entire room, and talk publicly most of all on those rare times I go into the chatroom with the purpose of chatting, and I do also try to keep up with some of the private chats as well. But to wham!! Get hit by too many rapid fired Private instant messages all at once sometimes makes me just wanna log back out and stick with the ole PM message system.
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| July 26, 2009, 00:17 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: To go private
OK Sounds like i didn't do too bad, waited a while and the made a private call, asked if they didn't mind my intrusion, thanks for the advice in this matter.
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| July 26, 2009, 00:34 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: To go private
I'm not much of a chatter, or very good at it...so I'd definitly hold out for better responses from those women who do spend more time in the chatroom.
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| July 26, 2009, 10:56 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: To go private
Being very new, myself - I find that simple courtesy is best. You do right if you approach it slowly. Sign in, chat open for a bit. Check the profiles and if you see someone you might like to PM with, try chat open first. Or even ask them in open if they mind the PM. You never know what will happen.
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| August 23, 2009, 18:35 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: To go private
The best advice I can offer any one (guys in particular) about a chatroom is....you gotta mingle with the whole room!
Some of these people chatting have known each other a long time, and if you're a stranger, make friends with the room, (male and females) don't just jump in and "target" the women...
Think about that same scenario in "real life"....you're a strange town, a strange bar or club, no one knows you, and you just pop in and walk right up to a mixed group of people and start aggressively talking sexually with a female or two in that group....seriously....what do you think is going to happen? You're a stranger amid a group of friends.
The women are going to pull back and take offense, the men are going to be defensive and protective of the women, and you're going to get your ass kicked sooooo hard....right?
Pretty much the same thing will happen in a chatroom, a fight will break out and you are not going to win.
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| August 24, 2009, 01:49 |
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ashkats
64 / couple
crystal falls, Michigan, US
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Re: To go private
we would prefer to be asked first on the main,kinda would like my cursor to be where i need it when I'm working on something or in the forums or just watching a movies.its hard to work on your check book when there's4 windows popping up with the same question are u a female?
on some sites it is considered rude not to ask first, just my two cents worth 
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| August 24, 2009, 18:50 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: To go private
QUOTE (ashkats @ August 24, 2009, 18:50)....when there's4 windows popping up with the same question are u a female?....
That would be annoying, people, you can just click on the name in the right hand list of the chatroom to bring up a summarized profile....including age, sex, location....
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| August 24, 2009, 23:07 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: Re: To go private
QUOTE (Chazzy @ August 24, 2009, 23:07) QUOTE (ashkats @ August 24, 2009, 18:50)....when there's4 windows popping up with the same question are u a female?....
That would be annoying, people, you can just click on the name in the right hand list of the chatroom to bring up a summarized profile....including age, sex, location....
it's probably worse for couples, though. there really is no way to tell if it's the male or female half, (or even both) of the couple in the chat room.
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| August 25, 2009, 19:33 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: To go private
Yeah, I think it was bcb and or bikerchick that once suggested a color code or or something to distinguish when you're a male or female (or when the male or female half of a couple are logged in) but...the site doesn't actually own the software for the chat so...ya know...
I got the same thing as a single in the room the other day, "are you're a woman?"....."are you a guy or girl?" .....that kinda stuff....when just one click on my name would tell ...
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| August 25, 2009, 21:03 |
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ashkats
64 / couple
crystal falls, Michigan, US
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Re: To go private
yep indeed, you would think people could read...most of the guys must be thinkinh with the wrong head maybe 
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| August 26, 2009, 17:40 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: To go private
Yes but if all the blood pumps into the little head, thinking in the big one goes down. Nothing you can do about it, its nature 
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| August 27, 2009, 06:35 |
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