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pepper
56 / female daytona, Florida, US
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The Tax Man...... (Joke)
I couldn't think of a better place to put this, lol!!!
Subject: The Tax man
At the end of the tax year the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said, "I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?"
"Good question," noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box ofcandles."
"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer.
But on he went, in his obnoxious way: "What about all these matzo purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?"
"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, realising that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question.
"We collect them and send them back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send a free box of matzo balls."
"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Rabbi.
"Well, Rabbi," he went on, "what do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?"
"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi.
"What we do is save up all the foreskins and send them to the Tax Office, and about once a year they send us a complete dick."
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March 3, 2005, 19:02 |
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pepper
56 / female daytona, Florida, US
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Re: The Tax Man...... (Joke)
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March 4, 2005, 06:06 |
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armybody
63 / male Dallas, Texas, US
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Re: The Tax Man...... (Joke)
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March 4, 2005, 06:47 |
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texas
71 / male dallas, Texas, US
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Re: Re: The Tax Man...... (Joke)
QUOTE (pepper @ March 4, 2005, 06:06)
here one
IRS Visit
A man who was called to testify at the IRS, asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. "Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper," the accountant replied.
Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice. "Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie."
Confused, the man went to his Rabbi, told him of the conflicting advice, and requested some resolution of the dilemma.
"Let me tell you a story," replied the Rabbi. "A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. 'Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck.'
But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice. Wear your most sexy negligee, with a v-neck right down to your navel."
The man protested: "What does all this have to do with my problem with the IRS?"
The Rabbi replied, "No matter what you wear, you are going to get screwed."
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March 4, 2005, 14:37 |
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bawbie
64 / female mesa, Arizona, US
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Re: The Tax Man...... (Joke)
which reminds me of the rabbi who saved all the foreskins. he had them made into a wallet.
then he went on vacation, and needed a suitcase. so he rubbed it.
and then there was the rabbi who never got paid for circimcisions. he only took tips.
there was a baby boy born at phoenix childrens hospital two weeks ago. he was born without eyelids.
so, the doctors circimsised him and used the tissue to create eye lids.
they say he'll be fine and only a little cock-eyed.
thank you, thank you. i'm here til tuesday
i probably assisted with way too many circs.
but i still crack myself up
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March 5, 2005, 00:06 |
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