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Redneck Ettiquette Tips
Going Out:
1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
4. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.
Entertaining In Your Home:
1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table ... no matter how good his manners are.
3. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
Personal Hygiene:
1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's own truck keys.
2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.
3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.
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