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how would you handle this?
i've got a problem, and i just want some friendly advice.
everyone here should know that i am divorced with kids, right?
here's the deal, i LOVE my kids. and they stay with me every other weekend, and i can see them anytime i want generally, my ex is very good about that.
my problem is, i work two jobs to pay child support and rent, etc. and i am barely able to make ends meet.
the big issue is, at my night job, i've had problems with getting scheduled for work on my weekend that they are here.
i've told my boss at least a dozen times over the past two years that i CAN'T work every other weekend, yet i still get put on to work, and with the economy in America the way it is, i can't afford to quit. do you think i should have to remind her every week that i need every other weekend off? or should i threaten to take legal action, and find a father's rights attorney? or should i report them to the county, telling them that they are not allowing me to spend my court ordered time with my kids?
just give me any honest opinion here, thanks.
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| October 10, 2008, 07:57 |
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Re: how would you handle this?
Does your boss actually tell you that it's not his problem, so to speak... or is it just that he's very forgetful and has to be reminded over and over again. If it's the latter, I'd remind him over and over again and take that weekend off.... if it's not the latter, I'd do what you said and get an attorney.....
The time we spend with our kids is very precious. You should have as much of it as you possibly can. Don't let ANYONE keep you from your blessings.......
Good luck with this one! 
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| October 10, 2008, 09:35 |
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funlovingpair
59 / couple
Frozen Tundra, Minnesota, US
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Re: how would you handle this?
L&H, search the web for father rights group. I could be wrong, but I've never heard that an employeer has to, by law, give you time off for court ordered visitation with non custodial children. I'll send you the links, as I have a few in my favorites.
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| October 10, 2008, 10:01 |
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KINKYINTHEFALLS
56 / male
wild and wonderful, West Virginia, US
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Re: how would you handle this?
LH try what I did. Ask you boss for a letter explaining to the court why they feel they are above the law. Instant solution. 
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| October 11, 2008, 20:38 |
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Re: how would you handle this?
I know you can't tell your supervisor... "Take this job and shove it!" attitude... listen to KITF!
xox
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| October 11, 2008, 22:03 |
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40something
57 / female
In the Sun, Arizona, US
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Re: how would you handle this?
There is always the lateral move --- offer to do the schedule for her...
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| October 11, 2008, 23:30 |
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Re: how would you handle this?
I'd avoid the attorney. That isn't the answer as it seldom is.
Ask your boss why they feel that it's necessary to keep scheduling you when you cann't work. Perhaps it's as simple as them having to much to remember.
Sit down and talk to this person and see what happens. If ya talk to them, perhaps she will remember better. That and you may gain some insite into your boss. 
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| October 12, 2008, 09:42 |
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Re: how would you handle this?
I like what Moon said!
Too many absent fathers, you're children are fortunate to have you, and you to have them.
Is it possible that fellow employees might grumble to your boss about your schedule? Maybe they are part of this problem?
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| October 12, 2008, 10:23 |
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Re: how would you handle this?
i have no idea of why she can't seem to keep my schedule straight, other than we have a hard time keeping cooks at the place. and she knows i'm dependable. i think she some times forgets. after all, they (my boss and his wife, she does the scheduling) have 16 kids...i probably won't quit, until i can get something that pays comparable. it' just frustrating. you'd think after 2 & 1/2 years. she'd start remembering....
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| October 13, 2008, 01:06 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: how would you handle this?
One option would be to give the supervisor a calendar of the weekends you are available to work. That way you put it in "writing" so to speak and it should avoid confusion. Hiring an attorney wouldn't be a good move at this point because you don't want to upset the apple cart so to speak. Say something like, "I wanted to give you a calendar of the weekends I have my kids so there won't be any confusion as to when I need off. That way you don't have to change the schedule every week."
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| October 13, 2008, 07:34 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: how would you handle this?
QUOTE (Julianna @ October 13, 2008, 07:34)One option would be to give the supervisor a calendar of the weekends you are available to work. That way you put it in "writing" so to speak and it should avoid confusion. Hiring an attorney wouldn't be a good move at this point because you don't want to upset the apple cart so to speak. Say something like, "I wanted to give you a calendar of the weekends I have my kids so there won't be any confusion as to when I need off. That way you don't have to change the schedule every week."
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| October 13, 2008, 08:02 |
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KINKYINTHEFALLS
56 / male
wild and wonderful, West Virginia, US
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Re: how would you handle this?
Great advice jules
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| October 13, 2008, 09:31 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: how would you handle this?
QUOTE (lonelyandhorny @ October 13, 2008, 01:06)i have no idea of why she can't seem to keep my schedule straight, other than we have a hard time keeping cooks at the place. and she knows i'm dependable. i think she some times forgets. after all, they (my boss and his wife, she does the scheduling) have 16 kids...i probably won't quit, until i can get something that pays comparable. it' just frustrating. you'd think after 2 & 1/2 years. she'd start remembering....
Ahhhh...I see now...they are so dependant on your sense of responsibitly and dependability. That happens in places where there is a high turnover rate in employees...unwittingly, they (employers) end up "abusing" their best, most dependable, and loyal employees. They count on you, depend on you....just a sit down straight forward, eye to eye, no bones about it talk. Let them know that you know all of you depend on each other and ya'all must compromise and come together to keep this relationship going.
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| October 13, 2008, 09:41 |
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KINKYINTHEFALLS
56 / male
wild and wonderful, West Virginia, US
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Re: how would you handle this?
Again another great response 
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| October 13, 2008, 09:52 |
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funlovingpair
59 / couple
Frozen Tundra, Minnesota, US
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Re: how would you handle this?
I did post this question in a board that is run by a lawyer and they deal with divorce and child custody. There nothing in the law that requires an employer to give you any time off for having your kids. The best thing I can offer, is to keep on the good side of your employer, as they may still allow you the time off to spend with your kids, but NO they are not legally obligated to give you the time off.
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| October 14, 2008, 07:57 |
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Re: how would you handle this?
Nope, nothing illegal at all here.
The probable reason LandH is gettting screwed here is because they depend too heavily on him and his strong work ethic.
Gawd, I hate to say this but...with some employers, it's better to be the mediocre employee than it is to be the best employee.
If you're the best, they depend on you way too much, if you're the worst, you'll get too much negativity from co workers and employers...but mediocre...you're ass is covered and your job is secure but you're not the one that they depend on so heavily.
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| October 14, 2008, 08:39 |
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Re: how would you handle this?
Since there are no laws that would help you with this and you say they are rather forgetful..... plus the fact that they heavily depend on you..... I would just remind them a week or so in advance... and every day up until your weekend off. If they depend on you that much, surely they won't fire you. But if you think there's a possibility that they might, start looking for employment elsewhere (specifying, of course, the weekends you need off). I can't even begin to imagine what it's like for you, only getting to see your kids every so often. You deserve that time with them. Don't let anyone take that away from you!
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| October 14, 2008, 09:59 |
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Re: how would you handle this?
i know, and i guess i'll have to put in every two weeks for the weekend off. we'll see how it goes, i did tell her that we need top get back on track for the every other weekend.
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| October 14, 2008, 15:06 |
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Re: how would you handle this?
Keep us updated on how this is all working out for you.
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| October 14, 2008, 21:20 |
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Re: how would you handle this?
of course i will.
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| October 14, 2008, 23:56 |
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Re: Re: how would you handle this?
QUOTE (lonelyandhorny @ October 14, 2008, 23:56)of course i will.
I know you have that strong work ethic...and it's a shame it can work against you when you should be rewarded and respected for it....I've been there, at one time when piece rate factory work got me huge paychecks, but....since I alone was responsible for 1/3 of the total daily, weekly and monthly quota on that job, my employers would lose a monthly bonus from their boss if I took time off...and if production took a dip at all, they got their ass chewin'...
It made for a very unhealthy employer/employee. relationship.
All I could do is when new hires came in, I really put myslef out to make them as happy and successful on my job as possible, and could only hope that they would stay and learn, taking this pressure off of me....that didn't really work for me, I ended up quitting as soon as I could afford to.
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| October 16, 2008, 11:01 |
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