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Divorcaphobia
I know there are alot of people here that have gone through a separation or divorce. Did you find when you were that friends treated you differently...I am not talking about couple friends, I mean long term friends. I have a friend that hasn't told her husband yet that I plan on getting divorced because then he won't want her hanging out with me. I mean hells bells, I was friends with her LONG before they met...
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| October 3, 2008, 15:42 |
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Mooant
41 / male
New Britain, Connecticut, US
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Re: Divorcaphobia
Yea, they actually started hanging out with me again 
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| October 3, 2008, 18:19 |
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Re: Divorcaphobia
It didn't seem to make any difference to any of my friends at all, we all seemed to carry on as normal. It's silly that your friend thinks her husband sees you as a threat if your single, but that just shows his lack of trust in her. Which is his problem hun, not yours. She should just tell him and if he has a problem with her spending time with you, she needs to put him straight.  
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| October 3, 2008, 18:20 |
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Re: Divorcaphobia
i didn't really have many friends before, and i haven't made many since...and of course my "friends" that i had when i was married...all took her side. 
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| October 3, 2008, 21:06 |
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Re: Divorcaphobia
Through my divorce[s] I maintained my friends. I think people should. One part of a couple may have concerns about thier partner may get the idea to leave. I think that's BS, but whatever--------- 
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| October 4, 2008, 07:40 |
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Re: Divorcaphobia
I lost "custody" of most of our friends when I was divorced years ago. The good news is that they got him..lol
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| October 5, 2008, 09:37 |
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Re: Divorcaphobia
That is sad when friends walk away because you get divorced, you should keep the friends you had before the relationship when it ends. Those friends should stand by you regardless whether they have become friends with your partner. It also shouldn't make any difference to your friends partners whether you are married or not, it doesn't change the person you are, and this is the time you need your friends support more then ever.
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| October 5, 2008, 10:14 |
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AmberZed
56 / female
South of that..., Georgia, US
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Re: Divorcaphobia
That's the thing about life-changes -- you definitely learn who your real friends are.
Most of my "friends" sort of evaporated after the divorce -- which told me a LOT about what my social life had been while I was part of a Couple. To be honest, I was kinda shocked about how some of them treated me, after...
But my true friends stuck with me. And they're still with me, to this day. And now I know... They're the ones I can trust, no matter what.
A life-change like a divorce isn't easy for any of us... but it's hard on our friends, too. In the long-term, ten years later, I can't blame the ones who dropped me -- they had their reasons for siding with him. Most, I think, were career-oriented -- when I was married, I spent a lot of effort supporting his ambitions, and in the end they knew that we ALL had invested in him. And they had to go forward with him... but I didn't.
And in the end, I wish them luck. After all, he's THEIR problem now...
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| October 6, 2008, 00:25 |
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Re: Divorcaphobia
The thing is, she isn't siding with him. Her husband has a stigma about her being around divorced women. She has pulled away from me in a way I never expected. What blows me away is that less than a year ago I was supporting her when she was ready to walk away from him.
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| October 6, 2008, 01:42 |
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Pocolover
55 / male
port Coquitlam, British Columbia, Canada
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Re: Divorcaphobia
Yes in my case most of my friends treated me differently or stopped calling or visiting me. A couple remained steadfast. It's a common story i hear from lots of Divorced people.
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| October 6, 2008, 11:07 |
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Re: Re: Divorcaphobia
QUOTE (Julianna @ October 6, 2008, 01:42)The thing is, she isn't siding with him. Her husband has a stigma about her being around divorced women. She has pulled away from me in a way I never expected. What blows me away is that less than a year ago I was supporting her when she was ready to walk away from him.
She should be there supporting you, and her husband needs to grow up, what, just because you are getting a divorce, his wife is going to turn into a man hunter!!!! Men make me laugh, he has no trust in his wife, and she should tell him to grow up and stop being a child. Makes me so angry when a friends partner does that.
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| October 6, 2008, 12:00 |
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