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Liberalwife
47 / female
north, England, UK
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Noisy Sex...
My ex and I used to live in a two-storey apartment block.
The downstairs neighbours used to have the noisiest, headboard banging, monkey noise making sex imaginable.
Although it did sound rather funny at times, it got really frigging annoying. It was so frequent and over the top, we did begin to wonder if the place was being used as a brothel!
It's one thing to interrupt a party and ask for the music to be turned down a bit, but 'hey can you please keep your screams of pleasure to a minimum' is something else!
My question is...Would you have confronted them? and if so..How?
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| July 30, 2008, 09:01 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Noisy Sex...
I would have started banging my headboard and copy the noises they were doing in the hope they might think if they can hear us, we could hear them and start to be quiet. If however they confronted me and complained, i could totally embarrass them, and say, "Yes, i am making a noise, but i am only copying what i hear you two doing all the bloody time, in the hope you will get the hint, and shut the fuck up!!!", "And, see it worked!!!", 
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| July 30, 2008, 09:08 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Noisy Sex...
A few ideas:-
1. Play some ridiculous music loudly so it accompanies their fucking.... i suggest the following masterpieces - The Benny Hill theme tune, Sesame Street theme tune, or Agadoo by Black Lace (look this one up on the internet, you'll see). Anyone who can fuck to these tunes should be left well alone.
2. Call round when they are in mid flow and ask if you and a few friends can join in... make sure you are holding the biggest dildo you can buy and a pot of Vaseline. If you have any animals... dogs, donkeys etc, make sure you bring them with you for added effect.
or...
3. Record the noise, then follow them when they next go out somewhere. Hopefully it's somewhere like a shopping mall or restaurant. When they least expect it, play back the sex sounds at full volume and simply point at them.
(I'm saying all this and do like sex to be noisy... only without the monkey noises)
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| July 30, 2008, 16:01 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Noisy Sex...
I'd knock on their door with a hammer in one hand, nails in the other, wearing a carpenter's belt, asking them where their bed is, then proceeding by nailing the bedpost to the wall! 
Seriously though, I would go and explain how inappropriate it is to constantly hear Tarzan and Jane going at it.
xox
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| July 30, 2008, 17:07 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: Noisy Sex...
QUOTE (ticaD @ July 30, 2008, 17:07)I'd knock on their door with a hammer in one hand, nails in the other, wearing a carpenter's belt, asking them where their bed is, then proceeding by nailing the bedpost to the wall!
Seriously though, I would go and explain how inappropriate it is to constantly hear Tarzan and Jane going at it.
xox
So just what dose sex sound like? 
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| July 30, 2008, 17:51 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: Re: Noisy Sex...
QUOTE (Jessejames @ July 30, 2008, 17:51) QUOTE (ticaD @ July 30, 2008, 17:07)I'd knock on their door with a hammer in one hand, nails in the other, wearing a carpenter's belt, asking them where their bed is, then proceeding by nailing the bedpost to the wall!
Seriously though, I would go and explain how inappropriate it is to constantly hear Tarzan and Jane going at it.
xox
So just what dose sex sound like?
I can't explain what sex sounds like, just know when in the moment what it sounds like which could be many different yummy sounds!
xox
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| July 30, 2008, 19:47 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Noisy Sex...
i was once accused of hanging pictures at 2 am...but the wall was not the only thing getting "nailed"...
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| July 30, 2008, 21:16 |
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cjroxy
59 / couple
Hot and Balmy, England, UK
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Re: Noisy Sex...
had the same problem, only the lady in question howled like a dog, it was gross and always at 2 o clock in the morning!!, so our solution to the problem, hubby built wardrobes right across the wall, which cut down on the interference somewhat, but then....she moved out!!!, go figure, but at least its lovely and quiet now!! 
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| July 31, 2008, 16:27 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Noisy Sex...
QUOTE (Liberalwife @ July 30, 2008, 09:01)My ex and I used to live in a two-storey apartment block.
The downstairs neighbours used to have the noisiest, headboard banging, monkey noise making sex imaginable.
Although it did sound rather funny at times, it got really frigging annoying. It was so frequent and over the top, we did begin to wonder if the place was being used as a brothel!
It's one thing to interrupt a party and ask for the music to be turned down a bit, but 'hey can you please keep your screams of pleasure to a minimum' is something else!
My question is...Would you have confronted them? and if so..How?
That was you upstairs? Sorry!
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| July 31, 2008, 17:15 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Noisy Sex...
I just remembered one of the places I resided once where the husband and wife slept on a sofa-bed in their living room which was right above my living room.... so I totally know all about those squeaking noises, and a few other ones. I'd turn up my TV so I wouldn't have to hear it, and the following day if I saw them outside, they'd have smiles on their faces like in that one TV commercial with friendly BOB!
xox
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| July 31, 2008, 22:32 |
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