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Innovations
Inovations
With all the sextoys on the market numbering in the tens of thousands, what inovative new designs or devices would like to see ? A blow up doll for voyeurs, that just sits in the corner watching you?...... A dildo that starts out limp and you have to manipulate into erection?......
(serious answers and smart ass quips are all welcomed)
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| January 21, 2005, 10:18 |
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Re: Inovations
here is one I "invented" the other day.
Look no further, print this page, Listen carefully. The perfect answer to autoerotic adventurism, the solution to soluble stimulation.
Jello....the perfect sexual medium
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for men:
Step 1:
Buy and mix jello in a 10 inch x 6 inch x 6 inch tupperware(tm) bowl. Place the mixed jello into the refrigerator (note it must become partially solid by step 3.
Step 2:
Size is all important when creating your jello masturbatory mold. It is critical that the "pocket" in the jello be slightly under the size of your stimulated penis. Therefore it will be necessary for you to remove your penis (a chainsaw, axe, or samurai sword are good for this), place the penis on your lathe, and remove the outer 1/8 of an inch of skin.
Step 3:
Place the penis into the semi coagulated jello, the base should be even with one edge, and the remainder should be centered. both vertically and horizontally. Return the jello to the refrigerator to stiffen.
Step 4: Remove Jello from Refrigerator, Re-Attach penis and have fun. (swelling from operation will make up for missing 1/8 inch) Also note that the melting jello will facilitate lubricated "true pussy" action.
Step 5: When finished, the entire device may be eaten thus making cleanup faster and simpler than with similar products.
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For Ladies
Step 1:
Perform Steps 1-3 above. (do not use the lathe, as the additional 1/8 inch will be important)
Step 2:
remove jello from refrigerator, remove penis and discard.
Step 3. Pour jello of second color into mold left by removed penis. Allow to harden.
Step 4. Remove from refrigerator, pull jello penis from mold, and have fun. (you may also use your tongue on the mold itself)
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patent pending
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disclaimer: kbateman enterprises does not actually recommend mutilating yourself in the process of seeking pleasure. All activities performed while following instruction in this post are stupid an totally your responsibility...so if you actually do this don't sue me. idiot.
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| January 21, 2005, 11:47 |
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Re: Inovations
Damn KB !!!! From the male perspective first,I'd like to say 'OUCH' numerous times, and why don't you use that mind for good instead of ????
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| January 21, 2005, 13:24 |
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Re: Inovations
I imagine that would hurt. Here's a better method. They have molds to make an exact replica of your guy's penis into a dildo. How about they us that?
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| January 21, 2005, 14:02 |
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Re: Inovations
I find it very amusing, and funny, I may even submit it to the chicago trib. under "Recipes for weekend chefs"
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| January 21, 2005, 21:11 |
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Re: Inovations
HAHA! I'd love to see that one be printed!
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| January 22, 2005, 07:53 |
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Re: Re: Inovations
QUOTE (hothands @ January 21, 2005, 21:11)I find it very amusing, and funny, I may even submit it to the chicago trib. under "Recipes for weekend chefs"
Go ahead ! I don't think I read anything in the disclaimer about "reprinting without permission"
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| January 22, 2005, 12:57 |
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Re: Inovations
 BUMP
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| March 29, 2006, 14:57 |
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Re: Inovations
Moonhowler has just been named "MVP" of the day!
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| March 29, 2006, 15:32 |
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just4urplsur
58 / male
platte city, Missouri, US
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Re: Re: Inovations
QUOTE (MoonHowler @ March 29, 2006, 14:57) BUMP
things that go bump in the night or day 
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| March 29, 2006, 16:16 |
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