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Our new doctor
He's an alright guy, I like him, he's good at what he does, and after years of no health insurance I so appreciate have a family doctor again....but I've got one problem with him...he ran all the tests for my husband and all his cholesterol levels are way too high, and he has hypertension...the doctor writes on his test results to cut fat in his diet, and watch what he eats.
My husband is about 30 pounds overweight but the doctor (who he himself is at least 50 pounds overweight) tells my husband during his followup yesterday that he (my husband) doesn't need to lose any weight...so after weeks of bickering and hard work to change our diets, my husband comes home from the doctor's office demanding bacon cheeseburgers.
The point....I don't care how much the doctor weighs that's his personal business, but I'm fearing this doctor may be a bit biased about what is a healthy and acceptable weight for someone with the test results that my husband has...everything I've done with changing our eating habits to a healthier way fly out the freakin' window when the husband's doctor uttered that one sentence to him...and my husband? There's no talking any sense into him now, now that this doctor said exactly what he wants to hear.
Am I over reacting because I really want this household to cut out allot of fat and sugar, eat better, lose a few pounds and live longer? I really have only two choices...
Give up and leave it between my husband and his doctor.
Or..when I go for my checkup with this same doctor, I want to discuss this "don't need to lose weight" remark and the effect it has had on my husbands attitude about his health.
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| February 6, 2008, 10:53 |
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slowpoke2
52 / male
aberdeen, Scotland, UK
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Re: Our new doctor
i am with you on this chazzy forget what the doc said and stick to the way u changed your eating plan, high fat levels and being overweight brings an increased risk of heart attack or stroke or diabetes
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| February 6, 2008, 15:40 |
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Re: Our new doctor
It's frustrating as all get out when you have a stubborn spouse. One who has refused to follow most of the medical advice provided to him by numerous doctors. But the body can only repair itself so many times and then you're stuck with what you have, and knowing this it still doesn't sink into their brain. As for my hubby, he is under the dilusion that I can fix anything but his condition is now to the point that his doctors are advising me to just stop fussing about it, it won't help anything. And yes you know me well enough to know that at times it's very difficult to keep my mouth shut and it's so dam hard to sit back and watch his abuse of foods or anything that would have prolonged his life. So now we wait for the inevitable. Good luck with your hubby Chazzy, don't be surprised if it takes a major problem before he wakes up.
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| February 6, 2008, 16:50 |
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Re: Our new doctor
No point arguing with the doctor. So, seems a change in doctors is clearly warranted, for starters. In the meantime, if you are the chief cook and bottle washer in your household, that should pretty much take care of any perceived choices your hubby might think he has. Just cook what you think is right. Either he'll eat it, or go hungry....right???? Any argument he might have is easily solved by telling him to cook his own meals if he doesn't like yours. He may.....for a while...likely a short while. Then, you'll be back to cooking for him....right???? 
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| February 6, 2008, 18:07 |
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Re: Our new doctor
Oh, if he doesn't like what I cook, he'll demand I fry him a cheeseburger...not just demand, it'll be a real tantrum...I'm sure he won't change doctors now, this one has said something he wants to hear.
He has another blood test for his cholesteral levels coming up in about 3 weeks, I'm sure the levels haven't changed much at all. He thinks eating a piece of fruit once in awhile, and battered fish once or twice a week will fix it.
He just doesn't seem to get it, maybe the doctor says he really doesn't need to lose weight, BUT he still needs to cut out the fat from his diet, and yep, by doing that means laying off the bacon cheeseburgers and yep, he might lose a pound or two also.
Like Hotnsexy, fussing about this will just turn my home into a freakin' battlefield.
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| February 6, 2008, 20:16 |
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Re: Our new doctor
don't you know this by now??
i read about a study conducted where in lies the fact that people who are overweight and/or smoke, cost the health care system less money than those who live healthy lifestyles.
the fact is, overweight smokers, they tend to die sooner than a healthy person. if they are dead? it doesn't cost anything, to treat them.
 
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| February 7, 2008, 01:02 |
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Re: Our new doctor
Chazzy, I'd just wait until those new test results come in, I know you don't want to argue with your husband but perhaps if the results are high again you could say something like, "Well honey, I'm not going to argue with you but I'm also not going to help you go to an early grave. If you'd like a bacon cheeseburger let me show you how to make it." I'm certain that baked chicken you made for dinner with a nice salad and another vegetable will become more appealing to him if he has to learn to cook it for himself. Perhaps that won't work but it may be worth a try.
As for the doctor, I'd take an opportunity to visit with him about what he told your husband. Perhaps asking him for clarification on what he said, it is possible your husband heard what he wanted to hear from something like. "It may not be necessary for you to lose weight to lower your cholesterol but it wouldn't hurt." Sometimes people hear what they want to hear.
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| February 7, 2008, 05:31 |
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Re: Our new doctor
There is no reasoning with the husband, seriously...he's not someone you can talk to, reason with, or work out a compromise. He's like a 8 year old tantrum throwing brat.
He knows better, but it'll take months upon months for him to finallly come around,
He'll realize he can still have his cheeseburgers, just not as often, and he needs to let me cook and eat what I cook.
I'm more pissed at the doctor, I can see a doctor telling an otherwise healthy person who is 30 pounds overweight that they don't need to lose any, but he's not healthy and the weight and eating habits are why he's not.
I'll just keep baking and cooking stuff he turns his nose up at, and I'll keep the fruit bowl full, and keep nagging.
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| February 7, 2008, 08:09 |
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Re: Our new doctor
Chazzy I have a suggestion, suggest your hubby visit the nearest dialysis center and have a chat with the families sitting in the waiting room or have him volunteer to sit with someone for 24 hrs after they've finished their dialysis session. Who knows maybe that'll open his eyes just a little.
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| February 8, 2008, 07:19 |
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Liberalwife
47 / female
north, England, UK
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Re: Our new doctor
You seem to have endless amounts of patience Chazzy. 
If that was my husband, he'd get the cheeseburgers alright, but, he would be wearing them!! 
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| February 8, 2008, 08:27 |
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Re: Our new doctor
I have way too much patience for my own good...
I have often though, yelled things like "shut the fuck up" or "Fuck off" at him, but it's not really being mean or impatient...it's just that I had to learn to speak his language...tantrumese. It's what he understands.
Oh if I only had a nickel for everytime I've yelled ...
"Hey, I'm your wife...not your momma!!"
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| February 8, 2008, 08:53 |
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wandering5tar
53 / male
London, England, UK
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Re: Our new doctor
I just had myself checked out at work (it's the only time I do get checked out!!) partly because I've put on a few pounds but mostly because my elder brother has recently developed Type II Diabetes. He has to inject himself 2-3 times a day and that's not a place I want to go.
It's all down to diet. Fortunately I eat healthily, just too much and too often so my readings were OK. I suggest you talk to him after the next set of tests and try the "quality of life" argument. After all with the medical advances we should be looking to live to 90 - the key is to make it living and not existance!
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| February 8, 2008, 11:14 |
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40something
57 / female
In the Sun, Arizona, US
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Re: Our new doctor
Remember physicians are focused on the "ill" body, so wellness is not always a part of their training. You might want to make an appointment with a dietician, or nutritionist. They are focused on overall health. They might also bring it down to what makes a man take notice -- libido!
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| February 9, 2008, 14:05 |
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