|
| AUTHOR |
MESSAGE |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Curiosity
I've noticed alot of people on here are divorced. I have a friend that is looking at apartments and getting ready to leave her husband. What would you say was the deciding factor in finally splitting with your spouse?
|
| January 31, 2008, 22:50 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Curiosity
complete lack of respect from her. lack of affection.
i work my ass of at 3 jobs to support them....and get bitched at 'cuz on my ONE FULL day off from all three, i just lied around, not doing any house work...hmmm, might be 'cuz i was drop dead tired...maybe?? and heaven forbid if i came home from work, and she was sleeping, and i woke her up, just needing a little affection after a bad night at work. it was like i was beating the hell out of her.
she always tried kicking me out. but i wouldn't go, and she'd calm down, and things would be ok. but i finally got tired of her pushing me away. i'd try giving her a hug, i'd get yelled at, cuz i was trying to get a piece of ass? i just wanted a fuckin' hug....
sorry, i guess i'm ranting...
i'm done.
|
| February 1, 2008, 01:03 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Curiosity
lack of affection and attention...being told in one sentence you are big fat and ugly and no man would want you and in the next being told you sleep with every man you both know and lots you didn't know
|
| February 1, 2008, 04:49 |
|
dave2big
81 / male
somewhere, Nebraska, US
|
Re: Curiosity
first wife... i drank and she really wanted to be with another woman anyway. second wife... i drank and my wife was a religous zealot. another wife ? NEVER !!  and yes, i still have a cold beer when i want one 
|
| February 1, 2008, 08:54 |
|
svedishchef
45 / male
Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
|
Re: Curiosity
QUOTE (Juilianna @ January 31, 2008, 22:50)I've noticed alot of people on here are divorced. I have a friend that is looking at apartments and getting ready to leave her husband. What would you say was the deciding factor in finally splitting with your spouse?
Apparentally hers was that she'd had enough
|
| February 1, 2008, 08:56 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Re: Curiosity
QUOTE (dave2big @ February 1, 2008, 08:54)
so the moral of the story is " while your enjoying the flavor and taste of drinking a beer, pray to god your wife brings another woman into the relationship"??
|
| February 1, 2008, 08:59 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Curiosity
My deciding factor was just simply exhausting every other option, including counseling.
I could not move on with my life looking back and wondering if there wasn't something more I could have done...
|
| February 1, 2008, 10:14 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Re: Curiosity
QUOTE (Chazzy @ February 1, 2008, 10:14)My deciding factor was just simply exhausting every other option, including counseling.
I could not move on with my life looking back and wondering if there wasn't something more I could have done...
I'm with you on that. I just think that if people tried everything such as counseling, getting help in anyway that is suitable and comfortable for both man and wife and then still feel that its not getting anywhere, then it's to some degree okay to split ways. But if they don't go through all that trouble, it kinda goes to show your other half that you're not putting your all into it like when they first got together, maybe. I think nowadays people give up too easily because of lack of communications, for starters, and because things aren't done like they used to be in the past.
|
| February 1, 2008, 17:17 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Curiosity
I really agree with bc....it seems that way too many people think about getting married like..."Oh well, if it doesn't work out I can always get a divorce".....instead of seeing marriage as a total, complete lifetime commitment, something that if it doesn't work out, means working even harder....marriage has become too disposable.
|
| February 1, 2008, 21:56 |
|
pookhabear
75 / male
port st lucie, Florida, US
|
Re: Curiosity
After years of subliminal Mental abuse and manipulation. She insisted on counseling so I went , she said I needed help. So we went to counseling. At the time I ran in marathons, I trained at 5am and late at night so as not to take time away from family, she didn't like that I did something for myself. Turns out the counselor was a big time runner. Had a poster of Boston Marathon in his office, so guess what, we didn't go back there again. I said pick whoever you want so she did. After 2 visits counselor said I didn't have to return unless I felt I needed it and that my ex had some deep serious problems. She asked if i would remain in marriage if my ex would continue. I said as long as she continued going for help. After 2 more visits, the ex came home and said counselor just wanted our money and I was the one with problems. That comment told me I would never be happy and would always be wrong so I left.
After a cpl of tough years financially, life has never been better
|
| February 1, 2008, 23:40 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Re: Curiosity
QUOTE (Chazzy @ February 1, 2008, 10:14)My deciding factor was just simply exhausting every other option, including counseling.
I could not move on with my life looking back and wondering if there wasn't something more I could have done...
counseling may work for some people, but when she refuses to go? saying that it's nobody else's business, and therapists are stupid?
then why bother.
yeah, i could have went by myself....
but if she won't listen to a therapist, i'm supposed to think she'd listen to ME? and all i'd ever hear was, you're fucking stupid, why the hell are you wasting our money? 
|
| February 1, 2008, 23:46 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Curiosity
I'll be seperated in a few months, I got the "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" line accompanied by "I'm bored and feel trapped" which basically means "I'm horny for some strange" which usually occurs in a woman around middle age, particularly to those who married young. After exhausting counselling, bottom line she said "You're the perfect husband, and a great father, it's not you it's me going through some sort of emotional growth" In other words Mid Life Crisis but she won't admit it's that. So I got some of the same treatment as the posts above and will be leaving soon as finances and custody is sorted out.
|
| February 2, 2008, 05:09 |
|
Liberalwife
47 / female
north, England, UK
|
Re: Curiosity
I divorced because of his unsufferable jealousy and possessiveness, which suddenly appeared once the ring was on my finger. I would never have married him otherwise. 
Marriage is not something to be taken lightly....It should be thrown away with great force. 
|
| February 2, 2008, 05:44 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Curiosity
When the trust has gone.
|
| February 2, 2008, 11:58 |
|
ShadowSpirit69
69 / male
Southern Oklahoma, Oklahoma, US
|
Re: Re: Re: Curiosity
QUOTE (TropiFun @ February 1, 2008, 08:59) QUOTE (dave2big @ February 1, 2008, 08:54)
so the moral of the story is " while your enjoying the flavor and taste of drinking a beer, pray to god your wife brings another woman into the relationship"??
I like the moral of that story
|
| February 2, 2008, 14:14 |
|
cobaltheat
55 / male
Leicester, England, UK
|
Re: Curiosity
Not divorced yet - but just waiting for the paperwork to be sorted.
Reason - My ex is sleeping with her boss. Simple but true.
|
| February 2, 2008, 17:15 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Curiosity
Simple is sometimes the best and only reason needed. I understand COMPLETELY!!!
|
| February 2, 2008, 17:27 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Curiosity
I tried the counseling, but it was too late by then...all the damage was done but I did try it. Counseling can work for some.
I don't think many couples can get past one cheating on the other, it's too painful and difficult.
Physical abuse I don't think can be fixed either. Both of these things strip the marraige of two main things...trust and respect.
|
| February 2, 2008, 18:19 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Curiosity
I agree with you Chazzy. My girlfriend is not physically abused but there is mental abuse there. Her husband frequently takes her money, credit cards, and debit card out of her wallet when he gets mad at her. He does it to humiliate her when she goes to buy something. It is so bad that her eleven year old came in the other day when they were ready to go to the grocery and said, "Mom, have you checked your wallet to make certain you can pay for the groceries?"
By most standards her husband is a wealthy man and in twenty years together he has never put her on their checking account. It is about controlling her.
|
| February 2, 2008, 20:25 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Curiosity
Oh well then...he's just a sick fuck...and anyone married to him should dump his ass and never look back!
|
| February 2, 2008, 20:39 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Re: Curiosity
QUOTE (Chazzy @ February 2, 2008, 20:39)Oh well then...he's just a sick fuck...and anyone married to him should dump his ass and never look back!
Yes, he is, I've never quite understood why she stayed, but I'm guessing alot of people look at a marriage from the outside and wonder why they are together.
|
| February 2, 2008, 20:44 |
|
User no longer registered.
|
Re: Re: Curiosity
QUOTE (Chazzy @ February 2, 2008, 20:39)Oh well then...he's just a sick fuck...and anyone married to him should dump his ass and never look back!
I may be off topic here, but Chazzy I love your frankness. It's so damn refreshing. 
|
| February 3, 2008, 03:14 |
|
|
