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Shallow and deep
I wonder what makes some people more shallow and materialistic, and some more deep and down to earth?
I've known people who come from similar backgrounds, raised with the same values, have had trauma through out their lives...but some seem to gain a sense of "look out for number 1" philosophy, but others gain a sense of "what really matters in the big picture" philosophy.
What makes a person want "things"...bigger things, shinier things, better things...and others just want well being, peace and a more simplified life?
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| January 6, 2008, 08:03 |
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Re: Shallow and deep
I don't know if I'm wandering a bit (no way!) but my ex-brother-in-law was a very shallow and un-giving type of person. My wife volunteered to put him up at our house for about a month while he started a new job near by. The entire time he was staying with us, he never once offered to pay any type of rent or even offer to buy some food but he sure as hell didn't hesitate to leave the lights on all day while he was at work and he ate all the food I supplied him. If he was married to my sister, I would have ripped him a new one pronto!!
Hey, he was a piece of sh*t anyway and long gone from my life and my wife's sister's life. Good f*ckin' riddance. He's TEXAS's problem now!!!! 
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| January 6, 2008, 08:38 |
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Re: Shallow and deep
I had one friend, she didn't have any money, but loved to wear a fake leather coat, and a huge fake diamond ring, and make sure everyone noticed her cell phone when we went anywhere....she seemed to want to come off and be seen as a rich snob ...she really liked as they say "put on airs".
It was like she didn't have much respect for anyone who was in the same boat as her...she liked trying to make people feel less about themselves...it's like she is obsessed with seperating people into different classes.
On the other side, I have friends who just adore people for their personality, humanity, etc...nothing else matters but the heart and soul.
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| January 6, 2008, 13:11 |
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pookhabear
75 / male
port st lucie, Florida, US
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Re: Shallow and deep
QUOTE (Chazzy @ January 6, 2008, 08:03)I wonder what makes some people more shallow and materialistic, and some more deep and down to earth?
I've known people who come from similar backgrounds, raised with the same values, have had trauma through out their lives...but some seem to gain a sense of "look out for number 1" philosophy, but others gain a sense of "what really matters in the big picture" philosophy.
What makes a person want "things"...bigger things, shinier things, better things...and others just want well being, peace and a more simplified life?
I have wondered the sam thing in the past, but today I give it very little thought. I recently haeard a friend say "A persons success shouldn't be based on what one has rather on what one doesn't need ". I believe society forces people to believe they need materialistic things..Two quotes I think put it best , Dahli Lams said " I don't need fancy temples or complicted philosophies my body is my temple and my simple philosophy is kindness" and unknown author "It's nice to be important but far more important to be nic"
I worked with so many people in mgnt over the years who were so wrapped up in their own importance it was sickening..So glad to be away from those inflated egos.
OK I know I'm rambling  I could write a book 
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| January 6, 2008, 19:22 |
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Re: Shallow and deep
Hey, it's a perfect thread to ramble on in!
I can understand having a "thing" for somethings that aren't necessary, I myself have a thing for antiques but I probably get more joy out of admiring them in a shop or someone elses home as I would actually owning the fine pieces.
The need to be important, the most important or trying to be more important than someone else, (family member, co-workers, etc...I don't think I've ever seen any one who is truly happy with themselves striving for that.
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| January 6, 2008, 20:43 |
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Re: Shallow and deep
I'm not big on hanging out with shallow people. My friends are genuine and honest. I worked for a woman that was always refinancing her house to go on these big trips, she bought a Lexus, a HUGE diamond ring, and lived way beyond her means. Her children were awful people, one of them was caught changing the price tag on a designer handbag at a charity thrift store she was "volunteering" at so she could pay next to nothing for it. I've never had so little respect for anyone.
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| January 7, 2008, 00:11 |
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pookhabear
75 / male
port st lucie, Florida, US
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Re: Shallow and deep
I had a boss who used to nag me to buy a new car, he had bought a used BMW (used mind you) for about 30 grand. I said I didn't need one , my car ran fine. He never tok his car to work stayed parked in his driveway for all to admire. One day I got tired of his nagging shit so one day I said. This year i've been skydiving, white water rafting, been to Ireladn , florida 2 times and 4 other states to visit friends then concluded with, "what have you done this year, drivin your BMW to the beach with your wife 5 miles away. I hit a sore spot but he never nagged me again and my trips cost far far less than his BMW. I wouldn't normally do that but felt the need to shut his pompous ass up, and it worked  Can't stand people like that
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| January 7, 2008, 05:43 |
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Re: Shallow and deep
It all boils down to insecurities. Everyone has them for one reason or another. Some deal with them through materialism, others through addictions and others through put downs or bullying. The ones that have conquered their own insecurities have it best. They don't need any outside influences to make them feel better because they feel good from the inside.
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| January 9, 2008, 10:34 |
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40something
57 / female
In the Sun, Arizona, US
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Re: Shallow and deep
This thread brings back a memory. It was when my daughter was young and we were going through the divorce. I was working alot to buy us a house. It wasn't big or fancy, but it was ours. Her dad did the same thing around the same time. His house was twice as big, lots of amenities. At first she, in her little girl voice, would complain that our little house didn't have enough, but later that year she and I were taking a few days off to go fishing up north and she turned around and said, "I guess you can either have a big house, or you go on vacation with your family." I gave her a big hug and told her, when you only have a small amount of money they you put it where it matters - spending time with the ones you love. Even to this day we love just going to a hotel and hanging out with the family ... and room service! 
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| January 9, 2008, 21:20 |
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Re: Re: Shallow and deep
QUOTE (40something @ January 9, 2008, 21:20)This thread brings back a memory. It was when my daughter was young and we were going through the divorce. I was working alot to buy us a house. It wasn't big or fancy, but it was ours. Her dad did the same thing around the same time. His house was twice as big, lots of amenities. At first she, in her little girl voice, would complain that our little house didn't have enough, but later that year she and I were taking a few days off to go fishing up north and she turned around and said, "I guess you can either have a big house, or you go on vacation with your family." I gave her a big hug and told her, when you only have a small amount of money they you put it where it matters - spending time with the ones you love. Even to this day we love just going to a hotel and hanging out with the family ... and room service!
Awww, that's so sweet. Especially coming from a young person. Goes to show they really look at some things different than older ones and that they're smarter than we probably expect or think they are. Stuff like that, really amazes me.
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| January 9, 2008, 21:36 |
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alvinc
71 / male
conroe, Texas, US
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Re: Shallow and deep
I think it probably goes back to very early childhood. At some point someone with excessive possessions either impressed them with how others treated them or the superficial attention they received.I think I fall into the "I could care less" category. As long as I have the basic needs I am quite happy and content. Food,shelter,clothing,transportation,( good sex )  these do not have to be expensive or plush. I like simple things, they seem not to break as often as complicated ones and so much easier to fix when they do.
My sister on the other hand wants the biggest,most expensive products (house,car,phone,etc). I tell her you waste your life trying to be someone you were not raised as. But also I figure if it blows her skirt then who am I to say anything either for or against her choices,or anyone else's for that matter. As long as you don't tread on my $2.00 shoes I wont tread on your $500.00 flip flops. LOL. Is it a tater or a potato? I guess it all depends on how you look at it and all in how you see it.
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| January 11, 2008, 09:15 |
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Re: Shallow and deep
I'm thinking now of my own mother, she grew up dirt poor in a log cabin her father built by hand entirely by himself.
All the things her parents provided for her were things like braided rag rugs for their floors, handmade pieced quilts for their beds, hand me down clothes she carefully altered and updated for them to wear to school...but my mother never appreciated those things, they were a source of shame and embarrassment to her because her school friends wore new clothes, and their sided houses were furnished with store bought furniture and knick knacks.
When I started learning to quilt, braid rugs, knit sweaters and such...my mother started recalling her childhood differently, realizing how much work and care go into these crafts, how resourceful her mother was, how hard it was for her parents to provide her with a safe warm comfortable home.
And of course now, she so wishes she had a few of those old rag rugs and quilts that her mother made, those things that were once an embarrassment. She wishes she knew then what she knows now and she could have shown and told her mother how proud and appreciative she is of all those things. She regrets the time when she was a young girl and didn't really know what is truly important.
Weird..I remember growing up and Mom so stressed herself out to a state of constant misery trying to "give us kids all the things she never had" when I know all I ever really wanted was exactly what she had growing up!
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| January 11, 2008, 11:00 |
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