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| AUTHOR |
MESSAGE |
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Tease
47 / female
small town, Minnesota, US
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A Little Male Bashing
Q: Why do men become smarter during sex?
A: Because they are plugged into a genius.
Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A: They don't have time.
Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?
A: They won't stop for directions.
Q: Why did God put men on earth?
A: Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
Q: Why don't women have men's brains?
A: Because they don't have penises to put them in.
Q: What do electric trains and breasts have in common?
A: They're intended for children, but it's the men who usually end up playing with them.
Q: Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?
A: Because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor lock.
Q: Why do men masturbate?
A: It's sex with someone they love.
Q: Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A: So they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
Q: Why did God make men before women?
A: You need a rough draft before you have a final copy.
Q: Why is a man's pee yellow and his sperm white?
A: So he can tell if he is coming or going.
Q: How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down?
A: Nobody knows, it hasn't happened yet.
Q: What is the thinnest book in the world?
A: What men know about women.
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. Men will screw anything.
Q: How does a man take a bubble bath?
A: He eats beans for dinner.
Q: What's a man's idea of foreplay?
A: A half hour of begging.
Q: How can you tell if a man is sexually aroused?
A: He's breathing
Q: What's the difference between men and government bonds?
A: Government bonds mature.
Q: How do you save a man from drowning?
A: Take your foot off of his head.
Q: What do men an beer bottle have in common?
A: They are both empty from the head up.
Q: How can you tell if a man is happy?
A: Who cares?
Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A: We don't know. It's never happened.
Q: How are men and parking spots alike?
A: The good ones are always taken and the only ones left are handicapped.
Q: What is a man's idea of helping out with housework?
A: Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.
Sorry if I have reposted..
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| November 2, 2004, 17:36 |
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Tease
47 / female
small town, Minnesota, US
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Re: A Little Male Bashing
Men are like a pack of cards:
you need a Heart to love them;
a Diamond to marry them
a Club to batter them; and
a Spade to bury the bastards.
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| November 2, 2004, 17:37 |
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hardrock1955
69 / male
McGaheysville, Virginia, US
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Re: A Little Male Bashing
now I know why I like to play with trains LOL 
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| November 2, 2004, 18:41 |
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Tease
47 / female
small town, Minnesota, US
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Re: A Little Male Bashing
AMy is always right 
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| November 2, 2004, 18:52 |
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backfromaustintx
66 / male
Burlington, Ontario, Canada
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Re: A Little Male Bashing
A lot of them I haven't heard before, and FUNNY!
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| November 2, 2004, 19:55 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: A Little Male Bashing
QUOTE (Tease @ November 2, 2004, 17:37)Men are like a pack of cards:
you need a Heart to love them;
a Diamond to marry them
a Club to batter them; and
a Spade to bury the bastards.
You bury yours??? Here ya just cram them into a trunk of an ole junkie and shove the whole mess into a clay pits.
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| November 2, 2004, 22:53 |
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Tease
47 / female
small town, Minnesota, US
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Re: Re: Re: A Little Male Bashing
QUOTE (Chazzy @ November 2, 2004, 22:53) QUOTE (Tease @ November 2, 2004, 17:37)Men are like a pack of cards:
you need a Heart to love them;
a Diamond to marry them
a Club to batter them; and
a Spade to bury the bastards.
You bury yours??? Here ya just cram them into a trunk of an ole junkie and shove the whole mess into a clay pits.
 Works for me 
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| November 3, 2004, 05:35 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: A Little Male Bashing
Another rural/farmer womans favorite..... Throw him in the hog pen, and stick to your story that he must have just collasped there ! (For those that don't know what happens when a person collaspes in a hog pen, just invision the worst thing you could think of...)
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| November 3, 2004, 07:54 |
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Tease
47 / female
small town, Minnesota, US
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Re: A Little Male Bashing
Im going to go buy hogs then invite my ex over... 
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| November 3, 2004, 16:12 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: A Little Male Bashing
Think ahead, plan ahead.....buy the additional insurance policies at least a full year before the "accident", and don't attempt to cash in any policy until a respectable amount of "mourning and grieving" time has passed. Patiences is vital,after all, your X can only have one "fatal accident" !!
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| November 4, 2004, 03:43 |
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bear
63 / male
OHIO, Ohio, US
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Re: A Little Male Bashing
 What out guys, a plan is forming 
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| November 4, 2004, 03:59 |
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bear
63 / male
OHIO, Ohio, US
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Re: Re: A Little Male Bashing
QUOTE (bear @ November 4, 2004, 03:59)
my bad, should have been Whatch out--   
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| November 4, 2004, 04:00 |
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Tease
47 / female
small town, Minnesota, US
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Re: A Little Male Bashing
His stupid ass was spose to die overseas serving cause the kids would have each got 200 grand...I knew I should have went there and shot him! Now I have to get hogs..Build a pen and all that fun stuff...ANyone have any extra hogs?
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| November 4, 2004, 05:22 |
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