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Ok, all y'all up north, please don't take offense to these. I know they apply to most of y'all as well and y'all know I love all y'all! .... but they mainly apply to the south.... hehe   
1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.
3. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are cattle. That's why they smell to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-40 goes east and west, I-65 goes north and south. Pick one.
5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 cotton strippers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. So every person in the south waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah, we eat catfish &; crawfish. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November..
10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.
11. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.
12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat... IT AIN 'T REAL CHILI!!
13. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.
16. Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities , Universities, and Vo-techs. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come home for the holidays.
17. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines. So don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best.
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| November 20, 2007, 09:50 |
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very good! 
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| November 20, 2007, 10:26 |
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arealone
55 / male
somewhere, New Jersey, US
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LOL, great rules. Further north, new hampshire and vermont, people are similar. Jersey area, you hit that nail right on the head!
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| November 20, 2007, 11:32 |
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I'll add one of my own...
Don't come out here to get away from the city for a weekend drive in the country, and then harrass every farmer on a tractor that you get behind...
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| November 20, 2007, 11:36 |
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QUOTE (Chazzy @ November 20, 2007, 11:36)I'll add one of my own...
Don't come out here to get away from the city for a weekend drive in the country, and then harrass every farmer on a tractor that you get behind...
Boy howdy! They're definitely bigger than what you're drivin'
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| November 20, 2007, 11:38 |
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pookhabear
76 / male
port st lucie, Florida, US
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#6 is soooo true, lived in north and south and mid west. Northeast for the most part, SNOBS, the REAL UGLY ANERICAN
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| November 21, 2007, 04:03 |
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