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| AUTHOR |
MESSAGE |
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Tease
47 / female
small town, Minnesota, US
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More jokes
Sorry everyone but Im bored! SO enjoy!
A man was brought before the judge and charged with
necrophilia -- Having sex with a dead woman........
The judge told him, "In 20 years on the bench, I've never
heard such a disgusting, immoral thing.
Just give me one good reason why I shouldn't lock you up
and throw away the key!"
The man replied, "I'll give you THREE good reasons:
#1, It's none of your damn business;
#2, She was my wife; and.....
#3, I didn't KNOW she was dead, she ALWAYS acted that way"
A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart
covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service.
Following the eulogy,the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside.
The heart then closed,sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.
At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter.
When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of
my own funeral..... I'm a gynecologist".
That's when the proctologist fainted.
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| October 29, 2004, 18:35 |
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Tease
47 / female
small town, Minnesota, US
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Re: More jokes
A woman walks into a Lexus dealership. She browses around, then she spots the car of her dreams and walks over to inspect it.
As she bends to feel the fine leather upholstery, a small fart escapes her.
Extremely embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes a sales person doesn't
pop up right now.
But, as she turns back, there standing next to her, is a salesman
"Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?"
Very uncomfortably, she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"
He answers, "Madame, I'm afraid I can't say....If you farted just touching it.... you're going to shit when you hear the price."  
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| October 29, 2004, 18:45 |
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Tease
47 / female
small town, Minnesota, US
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Re: More jokes
Two queer men decide to have a baby.
They mix their sperm, then have a surrogate
mother artificially inseminated. When the baby
is born, they rush to the hospital. Two dozen
babies are in the ward, 23 of whom are crying
and screaming. One, over in the corner is smiling
serenely.
A nurse comes by, and to the gay 's delight, she
points out the happy child as theirs. "Isn't it
wonderful?" Neil says to Bob. "All these unhappy
children, and ours is so happy."
The nurse says, "Oh sure, he's happy now, but
just watch what happens when we take the pacifier
out of his ass."
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| October 29, 2004, 18:46 |
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Tease
47 / female
small town, Minnesota, US
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Re: More jokes
Blondes And Golf Balls
A man entered the bus with both of his
front pockets full of golf
balls, and sat down next to a
beautiful (you guessed it) blonde.
The puzzled blonde kept looking at him
and his bulging
pockets.
Finally, after many such glances from
her, he said, "It's golf
balls".
Nevertheless, the blonde continued to
look at him thoughtfully
and finally, not being able to contain
her curiosity any longer,
asked .
"Does it hurt as much as tennis
elbow?"
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| October 29, 2004, 18:50 |
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Tease
47 / female
small town, Minnesota, US
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Re: More jokes
True bravery is arriving home late after
a boy's night out, being assaulted by
your wife with a broom, and still having
the balls to ask: Are you still cleaning,
or are you flying somewhere? 
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| October 29, 2004, 18:55 |
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