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| AUTHOR |
MESSAGE |
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Tease
47 / female
small town, Minnesota, US
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More men jokes! HAHA
Q. Why are men like blenders?
A. You need one but you are not quite sure why!
Q. How do men sort their laundry?
A. "Filthy" and "Filthy but wearable"
Q: Why did God create man before woman?
A: Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.
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| October 29, 2004, 18:07 |
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Tease
47 / female
small town, Minnesota, US
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Re: More men jokes! HAHA
From: Santa Claus
I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer
serve the States of Georgia, Florida, Virginia, North and South
Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi, Texas, and Arkansas on Christmas Eve.
Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was
renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. As part
of the new and better contract I also get longer breaks for milk and
cookies so keep that in mind.
However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your
local replacement, who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His
side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of
delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a
few differences between us.
Differences such as:
1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba
Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that
reads:"These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."
2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave
an RC cola and pork rinds [or a moon pie] on the fireplace. And Bubba
doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an
empty spit can handy.
3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs
instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my
reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.
4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen.." when
Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti,
on Elliott and Petty."
5."Ho, Ho, Ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" And you also are likely
to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!"
6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a
Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back Off."
7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street"
and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated
viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and
"Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and
dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each other. And Finally,
8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you,
the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put
presents under the tree.
Sincerely Yours,
Santa Claus
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| October 29, 2004, 18:21 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: More men jokes! HAHA
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| October 31, 2004, 19:26 |
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Tease
47 / female
small town, Minnesota, US
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Re: More men jokes! HAHA
Good thing santa comes to my house and not bubba
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| November 1, 2004, 19:07 |
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hardrock1955
69 / male
McGaheysville, Virginia, US
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Re: More men jokes! HAHA
I dont guess it matters, he probably wont come to my house this year anyway 
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| November 1, 2004, 19:26 |
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Tease
47 / female
small town, Minnesota, US
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Re: More men jokes! HAHA
The santa from this house will be sending you a present  
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| November 1, 2004, 20:57 |
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