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Liberalwife
47 / female
north, England, UK
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Hangover Ratings
Does any of this sound somewhat familiar?
1 star hangover *
No pain. No real feeling of illness.. Your sleep last night was a mere disco nap which is giving you a whole lot of misplaced energy. Be glad that you are able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 10 bottles of water and still feel this way. Even vegetarians are craving a Cheeseburger and a side of fries.
2 star hangover **
Slight headache. Don't feel sick, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have the attention span and mental capacity of a stapler. The coffee you chug to try and remain focused is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a full English breakfast. Last night has wreaked havoc on your bowels and even though you have a nice demeanour about the office, you are costing your employer valuable money because all you really can handle is aimlessly surfing the net and writing junk e-mails.
3 star hangover ***
Definite headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely a space cadet and so not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer kicked you out at 1:45 a.m. Life would be better right now if you were in your bed with a dozen donuts and a litre of coke watching Good Morning with Richard and Judy. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 2 Sausage Rolls and a litre of diet coke - yet you haven't peed once.
4 star hangover ****
Your head is throbbing and you can't speak too quickly or else you might honk. You have lost the will to live. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving, (girls, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars), your teeth have sweaters, your eyes look like one big vein
and your hair style makes you look like a reject from the class picture of Moss side secondary school circa 1976. You would give a weeks pay for one the following: 1. Home time, 2. A duvet and somewhere to be alone, or 3. A time machine so you could go back and NOT have gone out the night before.
5 star hangover (aka Dante's 4th Circle of Hell) *****
You have a second heartbeat in your head which is actually scaring the employee who sits next to you. Death seems pretty good right now. You can't focus as your eyes are scrunched up against the overpowering glare from your computer screen Rancid vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore, staining your shirt and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth, at least you think it's toothpaste crust. You don't give a damn either way. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva and your tongue is suffocating you. You'd cry but that would take the last of the moisture left in your body. Talking is not an option. Your boss doesn't even get mad at you and your co-workers think that your dog just died because you look so pathetic. You should have called in sick because all you can manage to do is breathe....very gently. 
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| November 12, 2007, 10:16 |
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pookhabear
76 / male
port st lucie, Florida, US
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Re: Hangover Ratings
 oh, I have experienced all so many times, can relate to all
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| November 12, 2007, 13:57 |
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arealone
55 / male
somewhere, New Jersey, US
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Re: Hangover Ratings
You mean that is not toothpaste in the corners of my mouth (5 star)? Then what could it be? Hell, I knew I shouldn't have gone down after a shag, didn't think I would be too hungover to notice the issue!
LOL, the hangovers were funny. 
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| November 22, 2007, 19:18 |
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arealone
55 / male
somewhere, New Jersey, US
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Re: Hangover Ratings
5 star cure, begin drinking immediately upon waking up. Works like magic!
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| December 5, 2007, 11:42 |
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pookhabear
76 / male
port st lucie, Florida, US
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Re: Hangover Ratings
6 star is never go to bed and keep drinking, work your way right through it. Done that before 
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| December 5, 2007, 12:20 |
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arealone
55 / male
somewhere, New Jersey, US
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Re: Re: Hangover Ratings
QUOTE (pookhabear @ December 5, 2007, 12:20)6 star is never go to bed and keep drinking, work your way right through it. Done that before
LOL, that is a good one. Been there at least once, think I liked it and did it again!
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| December 6, 2007, 09:34 |
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arealone
55 / male
somewhere, New Jersey, US
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Re: Hangover Ratings
7 star: you get so drunk one night. Sleep a little, wake up in the morn. You are still drunk. You have a half full glass of wine and a shooter still on the table. For the sake of breakfast, you have a cup of coffee. You pick up right where you left off the night before. You know the next morning is going to hurt like hell. Though you are still drunk, you can feel the fur on your tongue and crust on your very chapped lips. You pop about 10 tylenols and 5 b-complex before you pass out and hope for the best. 
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| December 8, 2007, 10:01 |
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